Q. This is really a problem for me. Please help.
A. Believe in me or not. I get the same feeling and it just wasnt not a feeling it was reality. evil spirits were on me . Once I saw it in a mirror when i turned back it just stayed split of a second but i could see the face of an evil spirit in the mirror. And then i saw the same evil spirit in my dream. It was so that i was literary sleeping so my eyes were closed as it is the norm when sleeping but even then I could see the 100 % exact thing e.g the exact shape of my room with the exact placement of things in my room but with just one addition and that was that evil , horrifying female evil spirit . it was laughing at me and was coming to get me it entered my room open door and now was infront of my bed. it was laughing in the most scary way possible. but i coould see it very clearly its skin was like burned mixed with blood but i could not move it spelled me so i was spell bound. But then God helped me out and i awoke ( means could open my eyes and I steadied my self ) with a jerk and I again saw it for just one second and then it dissapeared. When i was a kid i was sleeping in the common room where all the family members slept as we were visiting our grand parents and uncles, aunts cousins, Around 4 or 5 am i woke up as I felt somebody punching beaneath my bed I woke up with a shock and saw under the bed and there was nothing at all. I was again i tried to sleep thinking tht it was just my imagination but then again it happened and again i lept to the side and saw there was nothing absolutely nothing at all.
Now let me mention that in my experience these are signs that you are possesessed by bad and evil spirits. BEcause all that i explained above cannot be imagination or a psychological problem instead its the truthh. Well i also hear voices strange voices when I am alone but the other things have stopped for now. and HOw did i found the solution for it . i will tell you but you must not take it for wrong .
I give you the solution for it but you must trust me on this one.
Go to you tube and type in Saad Al Gamdi or Qari syed saddaqat Ali and click on the video and listen to it. And do one more thing if possible buy a copy of the Quran and put it beside you or above you means at a height above your waste on a shelve at your bedroom. And if God willing it will save you from the bad or devlish spirits if that is the case . Because devlish spirits are scared from the word of God that is The Holy Quran.
Not trying to convert you just providing the solution that worked for me
Any tips on how to best clean my apartment and get most of my deposit back?
Q. I will be moving out of my apartment at the end of this month and I was wondering if anyone had any tips on cleaning up. I've lived here for 14 months, with two dogs who went through potty training and using my carpet. I also had a brother spill red kool-aid and not tell me until now (He moved my couch over it months ago)
Other than the main carpet issue everything else is normal wear and tear, scuffed up dirty looking walls, dirty fridge and countertops, etc.
Any help would be appreciated!!
A. What you consider "normal wear and tear" may not be considered NORMAL WEAR AND TEAR by your landlord or the state you live in. Every state is different. By the sounds of it, its kind of groady. I would start by cleaning thoroughly, like your Grandma was going to come and live there after you! Clean out the cupboards, the counter tops, stove, oven, sinks and fridge thoroughly. If the carpet is stinky and stained that is NOT normal, have it cleaned, and if its a small area, I would consider replacing it with something similar, much less expensive than the carpet and padding and installation your landlord will RIGHTFULLY be able to charge you for. While carpet doesn't last forever, 14 months is short of what I used at a standard in my rental which was 5 years. No court ever refuse me on that one! And one judge thought that was generous after I pointed out that the manufacture had a 20 year warranty (couldn't use it for commercial purposes) on the carpet that I was precluded from using, as I was paid rent and therefore a commercial enterprise. Floors need to be swept, mopped, and vacuumed, bathrooms cleaned of your skin, soap scum and deposits. Bedrooms should be broom clean and all walls should be patched where pictures were hung, some simple white tooth paste (not the gels!) and if they are showing filth, I would consider wiping them down with a simple cleaning solution of a degreaser and baking soda. Remove all belongings, garbage and so on. Taking pictures of it cleaned, inside of fridge, oven and cupboards with all the doors open and each room is worth doing as a safety measure. Make arrangements to meet with the landlord to return the keys, preferably at the apartment, where both of you can do a walk through and note any discrepancies and put them on a piece of paper that both can sign stating this was cleaned or this wasn't. Talking to your landlord like he is going to KEEP your deposit and threatening to sue BEFORE you are entitled to your deposit back (in most states a landlord has 30 days to return it to you) is just asking to have a problem. I have had tenants that made arrangements with me prior to leaving, having carpets cleaned, having me meet them at the property and asking IN ADVANCE for a refund of their deposit, as they were leaving the state and needed ir for the next place or utility deposits and I accommodated them, with notice. But anyone who approached me like one poster suggested, would have gotten my lawyers direct line and told to contact him concerning their deposit, and I would not have mailed it one day before my 30 days were up! Leaving a mess and filth behind and expecting to get your deposit back is greedy and foolish. I have had renters who, like your brother, spilled something, had the carpet cleaned, but a no go on the kool aid and we made arrangements to have the carpet replaced at a reasonable cost (I know all the places to go and I know what I had in there and I know I don't want some piece of crap substituted for my good carpet, but I am reasonable too. One tenant had a carpet guy come in, his kid had spilled orange soda and covered it with a pizza box for 3 days and the carpet guy charged him $60. Turns out, it was the same guy I had used in the past and when I contacted him about the stain he agreed to refund the $60 to the guy and I got another guy I knew who had just finished a big job and had some very nice carpet that would cover this little area come in and do it for $100, so in essence, it was only an additional $40 and we solved the problem. But had he jerked me around, and been stupid and took me for a fool, I wouldn't have called the carpet guy and I wouldn't have pressed my friend to give me carpet worth 6x the price the price of the cost, just for the carpet. So it pays to be honest and be thorough. Most landlords are honest and are not interested in keeping deposits from good tenants, but yes, I have run into a few who look to take advantage. Do your best to clean it nicely and be proactive, invite him over to look on your last day and ask nicely when you can expect your deposit back, and if you think you have truely done a good job, ask in advance would he consider giving you your deposit after inspecting the unit instead of making you wait. If he says no, deal with it, don't get stupid. If after the time has passed for getting your deposit back, if it still has not been sent, in my state you had to send a list of items that were charged back to the tenant and a check for the difference, if there was one within that 30 days. I usually did mine right at the 2 week mark, as thats when any painting, cleaning and work would have likely to been completed. If it was simple wear and tear, fine, they got their deposit back. But if they claimed clean carpet that was really piss soaked carpet, they got a bill for the replacement carpet and padding, if they claimed clean fridge and it was filled with maggots, I took pictures and had a cleaning crew come in and de-maggot the fridge and I would send a copy of that bill (I wasn't obligated to produce the bill, but did it as a courtesy and to keep the animosity down. I have to say, most tenants left their units clean and in order, some even better than that. I NEVER EVER kept any of their deposits, as I think they were most certainly entitled to them. If I had a good tenant, who paid on time and was reasonable, if something was little not right, I would just eat it, within reason, and return their deposit. But idiots, filth mongers and morons who thought I should pay them for leaving stinking, rotting bags of garbage, feces dried on toilets, and maggot infested fridges, did not endear themselves to me. Hope this helps you! Good luck!
How can I make me not hate myself without therapy?
Q. There isn't much I actually like about myself. I can think of two positives which are my hair and I'm nice other than that. I think I'm fat, ugly, boring, etc. No positives at all. One of the big reasons I ask this is because I want to find that special someone more than anything and my hatred of myself is causing that to not happen. I will never approach a girl, ask one out, have sex, etc. because of my lack of confidence and insecurities.
A. Practice a relaxation method, daily, and when needed, such as: (free) http://www.drcoxconsulting.com/managing-stress.html or http://altmedicine.about.com/cs/mindbody/a/Meditation.htm or http://www.wikihow.com/Meditate or Yoga Nidra, (no flexibility required) at http://your-mental-health.8m.com/blank_11.html (weight loss; see page N). Qi Gong, Tai Chi, or regular yoga suits others better. Give the EFT a good tryout, to see if it helps you. Use the searchbar at www.mercola.com "EFT" & "EFT therapists", or www.tapping.com (13 free videos) Professional is best. - There is a version for use in public places, (if you want to, you can claim to have a headache, as you massage/lightly tap your temples, but you would then be restricted to subvocalising: saying it to yourself in your mind: "Even though I currently have low self esteem, I deeply and completely accept myself." I have recently encountered the opinion that, just as it is important to build a house on a solid foundation, so it is with self esteem. Learn to forgive yourself for your past mistakes, and failures, or inadequacies. Accept that you, too are just a human being, with the frailties, insecurities, and tendency to err, occasionally, that the rest of us have. That is the beginning of self love, self acceptance, and self esteem. Regularly monitor your internal monologue (self talk): write down the negative ones: "I'm really ugly" and then the converse: "I'm fairly good looking", and next time you become aware that you are thinking the former, visualise, as vividly as possible, a big "STOP!!!" sign, and/or a stern faced person wagging a finger at you, and deliberately repeat 5 times, either aloud, in a big voice, if alone, or subvocally (to yourself, in your mind), the converse affirmation.
Some people go so far as to keep a wide rubber band in their pocket, then put it around their wrist, when they catch themselves backsliding, stretch and release it, as a method of reprogramming their mind sooner, but I don't regard it as being strictly necessary. Volunteer, even from home, at first, to provide a solid basis in reality for the daily affirmations: "I am a good person, who is valued by my community, because I... (insert activity here).." Google: "volunteer from home" More details about volunteering are on page B at 8m.com. Make a list of all your good points, strengths, and achievements. Put it somewhere so you can easily refer to it, from time to time; perhaps on the refrigerator door, or print it; (large typeface, or capitalise) have it framed, and place in your bedroom, or in a position of prominence, such as on the television, or lounge room wall.
See http://www.wikihow.com SELF ESTEEM. Read: The Self-Esteem Guided Journal: A Ten Week Program (New Harbinger Guided Journal) by Matthew McKay and Catharine Sutker, & Healing Your Emotional Self: A Powerful Program to Help You Raise Your Self-Esteem, Quiet Your Inner Critic, and Overcome Your Shame by Beverly Engel & Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem by Matthew McKay and Patrick Fanning & Happy to Be Me!: A Kid Book about Self-Esteem, by Christine Adams, Robert J. Butch, and R. W. Alley, from your bookstore, or Amazon.com. Hypnosis is merely a heightened state of suggestibility, in which you are better able to communicate with your subconscious mind. 85% of people are suggestible, to some degree, so you could either seek professional hypnotherapy, or more alternatives along such lines may be found on page 1, at 8m.com about self esteem, and overcoming insecurity.
How old is too old for children of the opasite sex to take baths together?
Q. My ex husband had our 5 yr old daughter take two bubble baths with a 4 yr old boy this weekend. She said niether one of them wore anything and she saw his "peanut". She also said the boys mother and another male friend were also present. I DO NOT approve of this. Am I wrong, or how many others think this is in-appropriate for a 4 and 5 year old boy and girl?
A. For the most part I agree at least in part with what most of the other people posted to this question.
However none of us are going to see COMPLETELY EYE TO EYE on anything.
My two daughters who are 3 and 5 bath together sometimes, and by sometimes its when I am in a rush to get them bathed to either go somewhere on the spur of the moment or else to rush to get them bathed for bed.
At 3 years old my younger daughter expresses the WANT to be able to be in the bath by herself, and I comply with her wishes, however there are times when the tub becomes a playground and her older sis who is 5 sometimes gets in there with her.
My older daughter the 5 year old, more often than not states that since she is a big girl and can pretty much wash herself without my help, she wants to have a bath alone.
I dont think that your children the boys and the girls should bath together as this promotes a comfort level concerning nakedness with the children. It as well makes them very aware of the difference between them. Your children should be taught that no one should see them naked. IF your ex is having people in the bathroom while your child is bathing, both men and women I would be concerned at this. Bath time although sometimes a play time, should never have company, unless it is mom or dad or another sibling of the same sex and age.
In addition I think moms and dads should stop bathing with their kids once the children start questioning body parts.
However, I know most of us full time moms cant always have the bathroom door locked when you need to bath no more than you can always prevent your kids from climbing in the tub with you, and by this I mean your younger children.
Unless you intend to stay away till everyone goes to bed, or else get up early when everyone else is still asleep.
PS. Not saying that you should.. but if CPS were to hear about this they would RIP your ex a new a$$ hole.
Now the above are my own views, but I have included some other ones as well.
http://www.askdrgayle.com/qa51.htm
The reason you get conflicting views about bathing your children together is because there is no one "right" answer! Like most parental decisions, it is up to you and your husband to determine what is in your children's best interests. Your answer lies in your own levels of comfort and the philosophy you develop together as parents.
It is time to be concerned about what your philosophy is on this topic, instead of focusing on "saving time" by bathing all your children together. Do not sacrifice depth in family relationships for "efficiency".
First, clearly identify what your concerns are about bathing your children together. Are you worried that you are "over stimulating" them in some way? That your children will develop inappropriate sexual behavior with one another? If so, observe whether this is true. Do your children show signs of discomfort bathing together? sharing a bedroom? Or are they comfortable and having fun doing so? Gather information from your own observations of your children and share perspectives with your spouse.
You have been bathing them together due to time and space factors, but you may be failing to address the deeper issues involved in the decision-making process with your husband. It is the two of you that must discuss and develop your own beliefs about how you want to approach this situation. Establish a forum to decide upon your approach to this problem. It will be one of many decisions to come which you will have to make together as your children's growth stimulates areas of personal discomfort for you. Developing a parental team approach now will assure you that you will become more comfortable with inevitable areas of conflict later in their development.
Secondly, observe whether you or your husband are developing feelings of discomfort about your children bathing and being naked together at this age. If your children ask questions or comment on one another's genitals, do you answer matter-of-factly, or do you find yourself avoiding their questions? It is important that you as parents are comfortable about what you are doing with your children, as they will pick up your comfort or tensions about the situation. In other words, whatever situation you set up for your children, you must be willing to handle.
If you are greatly confused and uncomfortable with what comes up for them or there is unresolved conflict between you and their Dad about bathing together, your children are likely to pick up on your tensions about the topic. In this case, your children could become vulnerable to internalizing unspoken tension, and even develop shame about their bodies, which could be damaging. On the other hand, if you feel positively about their experience and freely answer the questions that arise, they may develop a sense of acceptance and pride in their bodies.
Families vary in their levels of comfort with nudity, in general. The guiding principal here is to be clear about your message. To do this, you must discuss and develop your own child-rearing philosophy.
Talk with your husband. Clearly, there will likely be a time before adolescence (or preadolescence) when your child(ren) will want more privacy! This will no doubt include separate bathing and maybe separate bedrooms as well. By adolescence, many parents who freely walked naked in front of their children have usually been asked not to by their embarrassed teenagers.
The beautiful thing about parenting is that you are free to create the family atmosphere and guidelines you want in your lives. Professionals, friends and experienced parents are wonderful resources, but you are the authorities in your own home. Certainly, you will adjust to your individual children's needs and personalities as they grow, but you are still at the helm!
Develop your parental discussion forum now and you will experience smoother sailing in the future, even when the waters get rough. The two of you are the "CO-captains" of the family. Practicing parental teamwork will ensure that you are learning how to navigate your way through your problems in a way that works for your family. That way, by the time you reach the hormonal storms of adolescence, the two of you will be experienced and trustworthy seafarers!
http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/05_showrng_tghr.htm
http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,6246,00.html
http://www.westchestergov.com/ptk/Showering.htm
Sexual curiosity
During the preschool years, siblings, whether they are of the same or different sex, may "check
out" each other's bodies in the bathtub. If you come upon your children showing each other their genitals, try to take a relaxed attitude. Take off your adult lenses. These are not two adults in a hot tub! They are two children who are displaying normal curiosity about their bodies.
Instead of reacting negatively or ignoring the situation, you can use it as a teachable moment.
You could say something like, "I see you both are curious about how your bodies are different. "Aren't bodies great? But they belong to each of us, and I don't want you to touch each
other's private body parts."
http://preschoolerstoday.com/experts/answers/167.htm
At what age should children of different sexes stop bathing together?
The only right answer for this question is to let the children be the guide. When one of the children starts to object or begins showing natural modesty and wanting more privacy, it's time to allow them separate bath times. This newfound modesty often extends from the bathtub to going to the bathroom to having private time in their room. Usually, parents will see modesty develop around age 2 1/2 for girls and 3 1/2 for boys.
ohn Dorsey, M.D.
Pediatrician
William Beaumont Hospital
Royal Oak, MI
Here is another website where you can ask other moms
http://www.simplymoms.com/forum/showthread.php?t=15279
Hope this helps
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