Wednesday, January 2, 2013

can i being landlord owner?

Q. reject a family from being a tenant by having too many kids? example 4 kids plus mother and father and the house consists of 2 10X10 bedrooms and one master bedroom. can i deny them?

A. Instead of saying- I'm sorry you cannot rent from me because you have too many children..why can't you say there is someone else ahead of you looking at the house and if they fall through I will give you a call back.


Ny neighbor is unbearable!!!?
Q. So I live in an apartment and my next door neighbor is SO LOUD. Don't underestimate, he slams cupboards shut and all I hear is the banging, kis kids throw balls against the walls, he has NEVER picked up one pile of dog poo and I take my dog that same way...I counted 22 piles yesterday in a 10x10 radius. What tops it all off is his alarm clock. For a while it was everyday, but not as often now. It will go off from 5AM until 7:30AM against my bedroom wall. I get up at 8. I have asked him nicely about his clock, which is why it stopped for a while. I complained to the fron toffice TWICE about him. I don't know how much more I can take, but I don't want to be the tenant that complains to the front all the time. I wake up at 5AM with the urge to key his car or something awful. I don't know how much more I can take or what else to do. Oh, and he is not technically allowed to have his dogs or his kids (it's an upstairs apt.) WHAT CAN I DO!!
I am a waitress and can't afford a house and my lease is up in September of 07'. He moved in shortly after I signed another lease. so moving is out of the question. And I have tried talking to him. It made no difference.

A. you should complain again. i don't think there is anything else you can do. if it persists then you could try getting out of your lease. i had a very noisy neighbor at my last complex and i complained several times. nothing was ever done. i eventually got fed up and told the landlord that i had to move as i couldn't live like that. i was allowed to break my lease without penalty as they had all of my complaints on file. you may not get as lucky as i did but it is worth a shot. good luck


My boyfriend spends to much time at parents house, Should i say anything?
Q. Ok. My boyfriend is almost 30 and he is literally at his parents house like 24/7. If hes not at work hes there. We have our own apt so its not like he has no where to go. Im always welcome there but sometimes i want to sit on my own couch and watch tv. Thats the other thing, his fam doesnt hang out in their living room they all sit back in their 10x10 bedroom. We recently had a kid so i know the "grandparents" want to spend time with him but when im at work they babysit so they see the kid all the time. This is really straining our relationship and i dont know whether to say anything or not. If i do hes going to blame me somehow and then im sure tell his parents what i said. Also we have a hard time communicating anyway. What do ya'll think i should do? Go for it or keep my mouth shut

A. wow.....

i have a strange picture in my head of his family being 5 or 6 overweight people sitting in various places in a 10x10 bedroom drinking beer, watching an old tv.. the smell i could imagine is deplorable.

i could understand why you don't wanna go!

aside from that, this guy kinda seems like a wuss. a total and complete mamas boy with extreme separation anxiety.

would you consider him as someone who's moderately selfish?

whatever.. i'm probably way off....

as far as how to approach this, you obviously cant make him ween himself from his mom's titt until his mom is ready to do so....

I've literally heard of people well into their teen years breast feeding from their moms.. they see no problem with it, and either do their parents. but to people outside looking in, it's sick..

your husband probably isn't literally doing that at 30, but he may as well be.. he needs to start his OWN life, with YOU, and move out of the nest..

i almost guarantee if you told him "hey... i found a new job in new york" he'd be like "WOW that sucks... i'll never get to see you or the kid anymore! "

i dunno...... this is a hard one..... he needs to learn to be a man. a REAL man.....

wow........................ well.... i don't think i really offered any advice here, but, i hope you're able to stay strong enough to get through this and somehow change the tides a little..

could you possibly talk to his parents??????????????????? that's probably a bad idea huh????

start doing things at home that require him to be there... like... cook dinner a little later at night so he has less of a chance of dining and dashing....

buy some sexy clothes and lay them out in the morning so he knows what to expect when he gets home.... then make sure to make it wait until right before bed so he has to stay there waiting...

i dunno.. buy a big screen tv...

other than that, see a counselor.... You are going to need some help getting him out of that habit...


what are the chances we could get custody of my b/f's son?
Q. Currently my boyfriend and I are having a lot of issues being able to see his 7 year old son whom he has joint custody of with his soon to be ex wife. Now, please hear out all of the details and tell me if we stand any chance whatsoever of getting him to come live with us.

My boyfriend and I live in a spacious one bedroom apt together. His ex lives with her new fiance' and their one week old newborn son along with my boyfriend's son in one 3rd of her mother's finished basement. The baby's room is 4X6, her bedroom is the living room, and my boyfriend's son's room is 10X10 with no doors, no windows, and it's actually the center of that whole area. You can't get to the bathroom or the baby's room without going through his room.

Last summer she filed a motion to get full custody because she decided on a whim with no proof and no allegations that my boyfriend was an unfit parent. The court decided to have my boyfriend do supervised visits twice a week with his son with his ex and her fiance' supervising. Now, we've finally established a temporary agreement where he gets him for two hours on wednesday evenings and 5 hours on saturdays. we live 45 minutes away and we have to do all the traveling to get him by the way. His ex does not have a job, does not have a license or a car, and her boyfriend is a cart pusher at walmart. she's on welfare. my boyfriend and I both have fulltime jobs and pay our own bills. he pays her 86 bucks a week in child support.

His son has been extremely upset for weeks now because he wants to spend more time with us and he hates living in that basement. he says that all the grown ups in his house are constantly arguing and fighting and no one gives him any attention. His grandmother tells him bullshit about his father about how he's trying to use him and take advantage of him (she's a huge manipulator, constantly fights with her daughter about how to raise her kids, etc....). Regardless of who he lives with, my boyfriend and I or his mother, we think it's best he moves out of that basement because there is too much dysfunction from his grandparents.

My boyfriend goes back to court next month and they will finally rule on if she should get full custody or not (which isn't a chance I'm sure). They've both had to speak to the department of children and family's and they were both supposed to schedule a home visit. We did our home visit but she still has not done hers.

Also, my boyfriend says that she is a very lazy and messy person. He said when he lived there she never did anything, didn't work, while he worked 2 jobs and cleaned the house and fed their kid. he said he would come home from work and his son would be crying he was hungry and she'd be on the couch watching soaps.

We have no proof whatsoever that is submissive in court to prove that she would be an unfit parent or that he'd be better off with us. The way we see it, since there are 3 people in that house who don't work, there's always someone there, and that looks better in court than 2 people who work 8-5 mon thru fri. I suggested that she be allowed to pick him up from school everyday and my boyfriend pick him up from her house on the way home from work, but she doesn't have a car and we live 45 min away, there's no way she'd do that. I think his son would be a lot happier living with us because we don't argue alot, and anytime we do disagree, we take it in the other room away from the kid. We also would be more flexible with his mother as to when she can see him. This way, he gets to see both his parents as much as possible, whereas right now he's inconsolably crying day in and day out that he misses his dad, and they don't give a crap.

So, what should we do?
I'm not an idiot. I know that I have no rights. I'm asking this on behalf of my boyfriend obviously. However, how fit of a parent I would be to the child has been taken into consideration in the open case already since him and I live together. But like I said, I'm asking on behalf of him because he asked me to write this up
to ouragon, I am not taking the new role and cross examining things. It takes us at least a half an hour every time we drop him off at home to leave because he his clinging to his father crying uncontrolably that he doesn't want to live there. His mother is standing right there and he cries to her and asks her if he can see his dad more and all she says is "we'll see."

last week because she was having the new baby and was in the hospital, she didn't let us see him at all even though it's written in the agreement that he must. anyway, it's not that we really want to prove her unfit, we want to prove him MORE fit. If he lived with us he'd be able to see both of his parents a great deal more because we'd let him see her whenever he wanted. She just wants to have things her way because she hates my boyfriend. she doesn't realize she's hurting her own son.
first of all, to everyone that says it's not any of my business, it IS. Because we live together, I've had to get a background check, and the social worker an ad litem are constantly asking for my input. No, I do not want custody of the child. it's not even that we want custody. They have joint custody. That's how we want it to stay. We just want him to come live with us. And because WE want him to live with US, it IS my business. I have to be a good influence on the child as well. I have to know what goes on in his life if he were to live here with us. And when he is in my house he respects me like he does his father because he is at MY house. His mother doesn't have a problem with me. We get along fine. I understand that posting on here means I'm going to get a lot of stupid answers, i'm just hoping for some good ones as well. But don't tell me it's not any of my business when it is. I will be his stepmother one day. Perhaps I am not now, but that doesn't make me care for him less
and to the mom of an eight year old, i realize that the court doesn't care how much a mom works and that's what's wrong with the system. She gets to go on welfare and collect child support while my boyfriend and I work 40 hours a week, minus the child support, probably make only a little more than she does with all of her aid and her boyfriend's paychecks. And we have bills to pay. she is 27 years old without a license and lives in a basement. She's on welfare cos she is too lazy to work. and we're stuck footing her bill. it's complete bull shit. you are probably a welfare mommy ourself. you make me sick.

A. I think your bf has little chance of changing the custody agreement. If she's not unfit, it's doubtful that things will change.

The follow is my opinion as a mom who had a child who really missed her absentee dad. IF this boy is crying all day, every day for his dad (and frankly, I doubt that he is) he should be in therapy. I suspect it's more likely that you two are cross-examining him and he tells you what you want to hear. If this is the case, for his mental health, please just let him be at peace and love both his parents.

Your bf chose this woman and had a baby with her. Her personality probably hasn't changed. It's easy as the new woman to get drawn into what a bad mom the ex is, but always remember your bf knew her before he made a baby with her and now he's trying to take the child from her based on what a bad mom she is. Where was his judgment when this mistake could have been avoided?

EDIT: I repeat, why'd your bf choose such a loser to have his child? You seem to have no perspective on that at all. You have a lot of judgment of her for a woman who's never been a single mom. $344 a month isn't much to support a child. I doubt that it meets half his needs, and it should. It's none of your business if she or any other person is on Welfare.

Also, have a little compassion for childbirth. It is a major event. It may have thrown a kink into her ability to operate normally.

I believe that this is your business, but I don't believe that it serves the child to look down on his mom so much. Hold his dad just as responsible for this situation that exists. HE PICKED HER.





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