Giving up everything and moving to China.Has anyone done this?
Kevin Y
I'm thinking about giving up everything I've ever done in my homeland (USA) and moving to China. I've fallen in love with a native and can't live without her. is this being impulsive or just following a dream?
Answer
Your cyber girlfriend might have the same idea about moving to the States to be with you, so you'd better ask her up front what she wants.
My experience is that most Chinese girls can't be away from their families for an extended period of time, and if this is the case you should be prepared to live in an extremely close proximity to her parents and grandparents for the rest of your/their lives. This includes the 99% chance that they will expect to move in with you, even if all you can afford is a cramped 2-bedroom apartment. Think I'm kidding or stereotyping? Come here and find out yourself.
BUT...if she is one of those notorious "visa girls" just looking to escape China, then she's going to be real ticked off if you decide to stay in China. Like I said, press her for an honest answer before you make the move. That said, come on over! There's literally millions of other potential soul mates here should the other girl fall through.
I myself came on a lark by responding to a teach English job ad. I just threw my stuff in storage, tossed some books and clothes into my backpack and flew over without any semblance of Chinese language or culture. I only expected to stay about a year, but I've been here 4 straight years since, never had the desire to return home.
The thing with most expats in China is that they either love it or detest it; it usually breaks the weak ones within the first half year; if you last longer than that then you know you've found your second home.
p.s. White Shooting Star of HK is a very knowledgeable member of YA, but from his latest answer it seems he adheres to the traditional Chinese belief that life should be methodically mapped out and one should never follow their impulses. As an American and world traveler, I take exception to this custom; do what your heart tells you!
Your cyber girlfriend might have the same idea about moving to the States to be with you, so you'd better ask her up front what she wants.
My experience is that most Chinese girls can't be away from their families for an extended period of time, and if this is the case you should be prepared to live in an extremely close proximity to her parents and grandparents for the rest of your/their lives. This includes the 99% chance that they will expect to move in with you, even if all you can afford is a cramped 2-bedroom apartment. Think I'm kidding or stereotyping? Come here and find out yourself.
BUT...if she is one of those notorious "visa girls" just looking to escape China, then she's going to be real ticked off if you decide to stay in China. Like I said, press her for an honest answer before you make the move. That said, come on over! There's literally millions of other potential soul mates here should the other girl fall through.
I myself came on a lark by responding to a teach English job ad. I just threw my stuff in storage, tossed some books and clothes into my backpack and flew over without any semblance of Chinese language or culture. I only expected to stay about a year, but I've been here 4 straight years since, never had the desire to return home.
The thing with most expats in China is that they either love it or detest it; it usually breaks the weak ones within the first half year; if you last longer than that then you know you've found your second home.
p.s. White Shooting Star of HK is a very knowledgeable member of YA, but from his latest answer it seems he adheres to the traditional Chinese belief that life should be methodically mapped out and one should never follow their impulses. As an American and world traveler, I take exception to this custom; do what your heart tells you!
Do you allow your children to fight with their siblings?
Q. My wife was brought up in that rural southern USA by her strict great aunt.I grew up behind the iron curtain,where childhood was harsh.We don't really use corporal punishment,but are not really against it either. I found that it's best for parents NOT to get involved in matters between children.We have six children.Our two middle children ages 12(girl) and 13(boy) have never gotten along from the moment the 12 year old got born!Naturally as they got older the disagreements turned physical with pushing,biting,hitting,and hair pulling.My wife would rush in and try to break them up.I took an offensive positions and decided that since there is barely a year's difference in their ages that allowing them to fight when they disagreed would teach them to get along with and defend themselves with their peers.My wife finally agreed with me when she tried to break up a fight between them one day when they were 4 and 5 and our 5 year old accidentally kicked her in the stomach(She was 7 months pregnant with our youngest child at the time).After that we allowed them to fight it out every time they disagreed.It didn't take long for them to realize that if they hit someone they were going to get hit back,so it's wise to keep their hands to themselves.They still get into scrapes fairly often,but they now know very well that throwing a punch usually means getting a harder one back.
Just the other night,my wife and I had invited friends over.In the middle of having Drinks,we heard a loud thud from the basement(where the younger four children have their bedrooms) followed by shouts. I casually placed my drink on the coffee table,stood,went to the door leading into the basement,ad hollered for them to keep the noise down.Then I closed the door and returned my wife and our company. The girlfriend of an old high school friend of mine looked worried and ask me,"Is everything alright? Aren't you going to go check on your kids?"
I said,"No,they're hashing it out down there,so it's none of my business!"
She looked horrified and told my wife and I that we were terrible parents and she was going to report us for Child Abuse.
Just the other night,my wife and I had invited friends over.In the middle of having Drinks,we heard a loud thud from the basement(where the younger four children have their bedrooms) followed by shouts. I casually placed my drink on the coffee table,stood,went to the door leading into the basement,ad hollered for them to keep the noise down.Then I closed the door and returned my wife and our company. The girlfriend of an old high school friend of mine looked worried and ask me,"Is everything alright? Aren't you going to go check on your kids?"
I said,"No,they're hashing it out down there,so it's none of my business!"
She looked horrified and told my wife and I that we were terrible parents and she was going to report us for Child Abuse.
Answer
It really depends on the age of the children. In your case, with the kids being only a year apart, I commend your parenting style. For some oddball reason, people have grown squeamish to the idea of kids being physical with each other, which makes absolutely no sense to me. Fragile kids grow into fragile adults, which is not what the world needs. Let your children do what comes naturally to them, maybe step in and break it up if it starts to get too rowdy or one-sided. What I've noticed is that siblings that are at each others throats a lot more often than not grow up to be very close and fiercely protective of each other. That's how my younger brothers are. As kids, they fought at least four or fives times a day. Now they're teenagers and they're inseparable.
God forbid that woman have kids of her own. She'll probably make them go to counseling for calling each other names smh.
It really depends on the age of the children. In your case, with the kids being only a year apart, I commend your parenting style. For some oddball reason, people have grown squeamish to the idea of kids being physical with each other, which makes absolutely no sense to me. Fragile kids grow into fragile adults, which is not what the world needs. Let your children do what comes naturally to them, maybe step in and break it up if it starts to get too rowdy or one-sided. What I've noticed is that siblings that are at each others throats a lot more often than not grow up to be very close and fiercely protective of each other. That's how my younger brothers are. As kids, they fought at least four or fives times a day. Now they're teenagers and they're inseparable.
God forbid that woman have kids of her own. She'll probably make them go to counseling for calling each other names smh.
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Title Post: Giving up everything and moving to China.Has anyone done this?
Rating: 97% based on 9598 ratings. 4,8 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
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Rating: 97% based on 9598 ratings. 4,8 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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