Monday, January 14, 2013

Attention Mommies: Your best tips for organization for a mommy of 4?

Q. I have four kiddos ages 5 and under, and my house drives me crazy! Any of your best cleaning/organization tips would be great.... and also, I already know about Flylady, but I'm having trouble with her system. Any tips would be great!

A. I hope I can help you, I am a foster Mom and have 12 nieces and nephews and lots of family in and out through out the week, so messes seem to come with the amount of feet in and out the door. I know about Flylady, Home Organization, Cleaning Queen, and who ever else you can think of. I had piles of cleaning, organization and clutter buster books, and the art of feng shie. You name it, chances are I have it or read it or got it at the library. Here are my best tips for getting on top of things, these are the gleaned, condensed and just plain learned the hard way stuff. Get a timer and a box. Set the timer for 10 minutes and grab the box, simply walk through the house grabbing items you hate, do not like, broken, or stuff you already have 10 of. Into the box. When the bell goes off, tape the box shut and A. Throw it in the trash B. Put it in the car and next errand run, drop it at your charity box, C. List it up on Freecycle or Craigslist and give it away or ask for a small amount of money. D. If money is the issue, take pics and put it up on Ebay and sell it, pack it and send it to someone else to dust! Continue doing this, in addition to your "cleaning schedule". After a few days of doing this, you should have just stuff you LOVE LOVE LOVE or NEED NEED NEED. Now look around, do you have items Aunt Selma gave you, and you were gonna re-paint, but never did? GET RID OF IT, give it to a friend, Freecycle or Craigslist it or set aside a time this week to paint it, fix it or whatever to it, otherwise, out it goes! You have 4 kids? Well, even at the tender age of 2, kids can understand a few basic rules. One toy out, one toy in rule. If they get a toy out, they must return it to get another one out. They can pick up stuff from the floor and hand it to you. They can "help Mommy", THEY LOVE HELPING MOMMY do stuff. They can sweep, they can dust, they can pick up. You can have them HELP with laundry, they can learn to fold clothes with you, as you show them how YOU want it done, or if you do not care, they can FOLD THEIR OWN and put it away in THEIR own drawers. You can have them HELP you load the washing machine, maybe put the soap in YOU measured and so on. This is not CHORE, this is fun for them, if you MAKE IT FUN!. The rewards, if you need to use them, can be, "if you help me clean the porch, we can paint some birdhouses", they can help lay out newspaper to protect a surface from paint, get the paper plates, and so on, they can also help throw them out when you are done. Once I got down to things I love love love and need need need, I found I had less to dust, less to fixate and get upset cause it was taking up space and I still had not fixed it painted it or whatever and just got mad at myself for letting it suck up space and walk around it, I found I could get things done a little quicker, cause the space was opening up. I found some things that were important to me, I do NOT dig filth and was not willing to let my standards down for cleanliness for dishes, clothing, floors and MY bedroom. I could however, give two figs about WHAT the kids drawers looked like, as long as the clothes WERE clean in them, their clothes were NOT on the floor and that at least twice a week I could see a clean floor in their rooms and that the kennels.....uh....er....rooms, were swept, hosed (mopped) and in general CLEANED. Same for bedding sheets. I want them washed once a week, I don't care if they slept on TOP of the covers (as one tried to explain to me as her reason for NOT bringing her sheets down once a week) no DEAL! They come down, even if NO ONE slept on them! LOL! Clothes come down daily into the laundry room. We don't do "Can I have my white t-shirt with the little roses in an hour" routine, when you have 10 other little white t-shirts you can wear instead! If you want it done for tomorrow, then it should be here in time for the next load of whites 2 hours ago. Now the kids I have here, family included, now range from 6 to 20, but I have had them from the day they were born. As soon as they can walk, we make with the "helping". We want kids to "help", we encourage, we reward and we make it a rule! Sometimes, the kids get lazy, try to get over, or just plain don't want to do it. No problem! They don't get to do the fun stuff either, no baseball, no movies, no crafts, no library and so on. HEY! I shouldn't have to do all this myself, I had help making the mess. I have learned to SHOW the kids and HELP the kids when I want something done a CERTAIN WAY!. Like I have this thing about towels, so normally, I FOLD THEM MYSELF! Now the kids know, if they are GOING TO HELP, they need to fold the towels in half, then in half and then in thirds, otherwise, leave them to me, which, sometimes, they do, and sometimes, they do it and give me the "look what I did!" and for that, I GIVE PRAISE, I resist the urge to NIT PIC, as the towels are folded how I like, so what its not perfect, let it go and move on. The things I do not let go of are CLEAN! The dishes must not have food particles on them, no soap residue, and they must not be holding water. One kid couldn't get the idea of adding PRESSURE to pots and pans and dirty dishes, until after a few weeks of being on dish duty, I offered her the plate of MY CHOICE for her to eat off of. I picked one she claimed was cleaned, I ask if she'd eat off one I picked if she thought they were all clean, sure, she said, ok, HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? Uh....no? Well I said, "I don't want to eat off of it EITHER, so now, you wash it again, and then you will eat off THAT plate, clean or dirty!" Now it may sound a little mean, but she TOTALLY got the point! I didn't yell, I didn't punish, I just offered her to eat off ANY plate I picked, and if she was cleaning them, she should be SURE it was clean enough for her to eat off of it, if she thought I was gonna eat off of it. All the sudden, those dishes were clean! Some is also, getting in there and helping them. Some kids simply don't know and we forget, they haven't learned it yet! A good "How about I "help" you with your room today?" and DO IT, and tell them, this is how I want you to clean this, scrub like this, wash this that way and put this over here and take out your trash in this bag, WHILE THEY ARE DOING IT WITH YOU! It can be fun, I talk about school, friends, an maybe talk about clothes, I may even get a little fashion show of what do you think about this with that? Its quality time together AND a chore getting done completely. Now this isn't something you do EVERY DAY, but here and there, you do it. I have 2 days a week that we are dealing with trash. One is on Wednesday, as the trash goes out Wednesday evening and is picked up on Thursday. I empty the fridge of compost and guess what this Was? That way it isn't stinking up the trash cans all week. Then on Saturday, all the trash cans are emptied again (minus fridge waste) and put in the bins outside while we have our push for clean floors, laundry, kitchen, bedrooms, and bathrooms. Now during the week, daily, we have a dish chore, a floor chore for the kitchen, dining room, butlers pantry and living room. Those floors must be swept, mopped or vacuumed daily. I like the bathrooms cleaned at least twice weekly for the kids, my own, I am picky, so mine is one little chore daily, but on Saturday, anything I missed and a wash down top to bottom. Beds are weekly, clothes and laundry, as a load forms (whites, light colors, dark colors, towels). Hallways are weekly and throw rugs as needed (usually once a week to 2 weeks, depending on how much use and filth shows up, once they LOOK dirty, up they come and on to the laundry). The kitchen is wiped down daily, but a total wash down of counters, stoves and so on is on Saturday. I pick one to two things a week to tackle, such as a closet, organizing a corner of the basement for the gardening, bicycles, tools, Etc. I may wash down the cabinets in the kitchens or a bathroom, empty a linen closet, empty a drawer. Using the timer is a good way to get into this habit. Set the timer for no more than 20 minutes, do not answer the phone, invite no one over. Empty the junk drawer in the kitchen, sort it, throw stuff out, dispose of dead batteries, file it, whatever. Timer goes off, be done! This one worked really good for me, because I would accomplish SOMETHING that was needing to be done and it was something small, but in the end, had a big impact as they added up, one at a time! If you can fit in one afternoon a month, to say, clean out the garage, fine. If not, go corner by corner for 20 minutes at a crack. You can organize one section, one shelf, one drawer in 10-20 minutes. Add it up and at the end of a month, its all done! If you have a zone that gets on your nerves, just give it 10 minutes, grab a box, fill it with stuff that doesn't belong in there, put it where it belongs. Next time, grab the duster, run and dust everything you can in 10 minutes. Next time, empty a drawer and so on. Get a schedule and determine what days you will have free time to say tackle something more extensive, and plan something FUN afterwards. Like cleaning out the garage, a basement, the attic. Spend two hours on it with the family, everyone HELPS! Kids can carry, kids can put this on that shelf, they can be great little gofers and picker uppers. If you have rooms that aren't that important right now, let it go, for now, deal with it when YOU WANT to. I think half of the problem with getting organized and staying clean, is the feeling we must do it all in one day, and the simple fact is, it didn't get dirty overnight and its not going to get DONE overnight either. RELAX! Do it in baby steps, just work on the stuff that giv


How can we encourage our children to learn to enjoy reading?
Q. As a college teacher, sadly, I see many high school graduates pass my way who have great difficulty reading any book, text or otherwise. They often show a great distain for reading. This includes material presented on-line.

I have seen how the love for reading developed early in childhood carries over to make a person an effective reader of material necessary to function and perform adequately in our modern society. I also know that it takes time and practice to become an effective reader, thus, the time and conditions necessary to integrate readership into ones life involve more than just the time spent and text material supplied in school.

As parents, what techniques have you used at home to encourage and continue to encourage your children to develop a love for reading?

A. Others have said it already, but I'm going to repeat it. Parents should start reading to their children practically from the day they are born. Also, keep the kids away from the television, at least until they are old enough to read and know that books are SO much better.
As Willy Wonka's Oompa-Loompas sang,
"The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set�
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all the shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink�
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK�HE ONLY SEES!
'All right!' you'll cry. 'All right!' you'll say,
'But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!'
We'll answer this by asking you,
'What used the darling ones to do?
'How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?'
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY...USED...TO...READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic takes
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching 'round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy�Winkle and�
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole�
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks�
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.
And once they start�oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hears. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
If we can get him back his height.
But if we can't�it serves him right."


How to teach a child who has a very low attention span?
Q. Hello, my son's attention span is very short. He is a C average student in the 6th grade and often has difficulty finishing his school work. I was wondering did any one have this problem with their child and what were some ways I can do as a parent to help teach him how to focus. I refuse to give him medication for there are so many side effects I dont want to harm my child. Please help.

A. We struggled with this with my daughter who has ADHD, ODD and dyslexia, and we were not keen in giving her medication either, but we agreed with her consent to give it a try, but I would only give it to her through the school term, and would not give it to her through school holidays.

But we found having a good routine helped her, along with giving her one instruction at a time, when we wanted her to focus on the task at hand, we also turned the t.v off or any other distraction off, when doing homework. Often she'd shuffle her feet or sit on her hands when concentrating, but we'd let it go, as she said it helped her concentrate, and as an adult she still does this.

Thankfully she was not disruptive child, but she did fidget, wriggle and chat when in classroom. When she was 15 she asked if she could stop taking the Ritalin, we agreed but if she started to get into trouble for talking or fidgeting in the classroom then she'd have to go back on it.

Tips that can help;
Routines really do help, especially when getting them ready for school, bed and homework

Have set area for him to do his homework, with good lighting, comfortable chair, plenty of room for text books etc, have pens pencils and paper handy too, and away from distractions e.g tv

Have clear set rules of behaviour and the consequences for breaking rules, and follow through with consequences for misbehavior or rule breaking.

Be fair and consistent at all times, many kids with ADHD/ADD are confused when parents are not consistent in behaviour or are disorganized themselves, but tell their child off for being disorganized.

Give one instruction at a time, and break task into small manageable chunks

Praise for good behaviour or completing a task however small it maybe

Rewards & incentives to help enforce good behaviour, and if you have promised a reward follow through with it.

Pick you arguments, there are times you just need to walk away (I learnt this the hard way, my daughter was/is the queen of goading)

Time out, have a set area for time out, preferably not their bedroom and not the lounge room where they can play with their toys or watch tv. My daughter would sit in a chair in the kitchen, away from the tv etc, which would make her think about why she was there.

Play time, as you know kids with ADD/ADHD are very active and need to be allowed time to run around, ride their bike, play in the back yard etc. And doing this before homework, can actually help in focusing on their home work.

Daily task chart, write a list of set chores he needs to do each day, e.g make bed, tidy room, help with dishes, put rubbish out etc, and if he does them, offer a reward for the end of the week, such as going to the pool, park, cinema etc.

Don't be afraid to ask for help, when you feel a bit over whelmed,

Self esteem, to help build his self esteem find and encourage him to participate in his favourite activities, and it also help with focusing to, especially if he is into team sports, swimming etc.


I need pink and brown bedding for teens that are kinda cheap?
Q. my daughter is redoing her bedroom as a christmas present and found one very cute comforter that got terrible reviews so is now looking for another but is not having any luck. Preferably in stores but i will look at online.

A. See if you like any of these:
http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=1639f98&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474|59488&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=42&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=6043547
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=10890413
http://www.target.com/Xhilaration-Floral-Comforter-Set-Brown/dp/B001NHUOKK/qid=1247674177/ref=br_1_12/185-7700703-0023904?ie=UTF8&node=14122141&search-alias=&frombrowse=1&pricerange=&index=tgt-mf-mv&field-browse=14122141&rank=salesrank&rh=&page=1
http://www.nextag.com/NO-JO-RED-CALLIOPE-574536041/prices-html
http://www.beyond-bedding.com/pink-brown-polka-dot-kids-childrens-girl-twin-size-kids-bedding-set.html?productid=pink-brown-polka-dot-kids-childrens-girl-twin-size-kids-bedding-set&channelid=NEXTA
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/185-7700703-0023904?asin=B001VIR5JY&AFID=Nextag_DF&LNM=More_Categories|Home_%20_Garden|B001VIR5JY&CPNG=home&ref=tgt_adv_XSN10001
http://www.beyond-bedding.com/animal-cheetah-pink-girl-full-queen-teen-bedding-set.html?productid=animal-cheetah-pink-girl-full-queen-teen-bedding-set&channelid=NEXTA
http://www2.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?DeptID=59474&CatID=60551&GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=1428c10&attrtype=&attrvalue=&CMID=59474|59488&Fltr=&Srt=&QL=F&IND=29&cmVirtualCat=&CmCatId=59474|59488|60551
http://www.johnlewis.com/230466330/Product.aspx?source=22564
I like the surf floral from Walmart best.





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