Monday, December 31, 2012

My kids sneak to our bed early in the morning?

Q. Some times my son refuses to sleep in his bed at all. He will just keep coming down the stairs to our room. I have tried everything to keep them in their beds all night. I have promised a day at a amusement park to a small toy every night that they sleep in their beds. Does any one have a suggestion or a technique that they have used for their kids? Any websites or books?They are 7&8. They are to old to be doing this. Thanks.

A. For those early morning visits try this. Put digital alarm clocks in their rooms and cover up the minutes so they can't be seen. Explain that they are not to leave their room until the hour shows (pick a time) and if they do then they will have to go to bed that much earlier that night. Make sure they have some books to read/look at in their rooms to keep them entertained or some thing else like coloring books etc....

For middle of the night wake ups tell them that they may bring a pillow and blanket and sleep on the floor but they are NOT to climb into bed with you. Gradually increase the distance they are allowed to come into your room until they are outside the bedroom door. This worked with my son when he was about 5.

You can also give them choices. If they chose to come to your room then they are choosing an earlier bedtime, the loss of some television time, outside time, to sit in a chair with no talking or t.v., or something they value.
You can also make a chart. One side has nights stayed in room and the other has nights out of bed. Give them stickers for whichever action they performed and have a consequence that they understand. 3 consecutive nights in room and they get an extra 1/2 hour to stay up on Friday night, or a trip to McDonald's, making cookies or something they would like. 3 consecutive nights of out of bed and they loose something they value like a t.v show, a toy etc.... As they learn and gain more control over their actions you can increase the consecutive night numbers for both rewards and consequences. Make sure the children know that these are choices they are making and the consequences are the direct result of their choices and has nothing to do with you. It makes them responsible for their choices and they have to own their behaviors.

For this to work you MUST be consistent. If a child wakes up with a genuine nightmare then you go their room and sit with them for X number of minutes.


How do I stop my 8 year old daughter from being afraid of her bedroom?
Q. My 8 year old daughter refuses to sleep in her room at night alone. She's complained of hearing scratching noises from the ceiling and having a feeling of something watching her. I've explained the scratching noise is our cat playing the in the other room, with the sound traveling through the connected air vents.

Here's the kicker. I've lived in this 4 bedroom house alone for over ten years and never had a problem. I bought the house new, and there's no creaking floors or knocking pipes or anything like that. When I was first married, the room in question was my wife and my bedroom. She got an occasional "odd" feeling, but she wasn't scared. When the kids came to live with us, we moved into the master bedroom, made my office a bedroom for our son, and gave our old bedroom to our daughter. Of course, both rooms were repainted and decorated accordingly.

Initially, neither of them liked having their own room, because they had spent their entire lives sharing a bedroom. Eventually our son (6) got excited about sleeping alone in his own room, but our daughter refuses to sleep in her bedroom. At first, she at least tried to sleep in her room. Normally around 3 am she'd come and wake us up. Now she'd rather sleep on the floor in the hallway to her bedroom than to sleep in her bedroom. I've left every light on, read to her, left music playing, nothing has had any affect. She's still terrified of sleeping in her room alone.

Here's another kicker, when we have family stay with us, our daughter sleeps with her brother in his room, and our guest sleeps in our daughter's room. The three females we've had stay have all said they felt uncomfortable in her bedroom. The two males we've had stay had no complaints. I don't know if our guests mentioned being uncomfortable before or after being told about our daughter's refusal to sleep in there.

I've analyzed the room as much as I can. The only things I can think of is to remove the mirror, rearrange the furniture, and maybe get rid of some of her dolls (she has probably 30 or 40 plastic eyes watching her go to bed.)

My wife has sprinkled holy water and burned "evil-away" incense though out the house,

Does anyone have any suggestions that might help? I'm afraid she's too old for "monster away" spray, but too young for logical reasoning.

A. Not to freak you out or anything but ghost are in homes. Old or new. Children at that age normally can't make up the things she is saying.

You (alone) try sleeping in the room and see if you (alone) have the same feeling.

If you don't then I would try something that I tried on my 7 year old daughter. I had a chart and everytime she stayed in her room she would get a sticker when the chart was filled, I would buy/take her anywhere she wanted (it was listed on the top of the chart, so she knew what she was aiming for) and then I would fulfill my end of the bargin. She now has no chart and stays in her own room.

On a different note, I know for a fact that my middle child's room had ghosts. When she was 8 years ago we moved to this house and she all of a sudden started complaining about seeing things and hear things. I was like go back to bed. And I would be like there is nothing in your room but you. And then I decided to sleep in the room. OMG...She wasn't lying there was something unhuman in that room. It would touch you, make itself seen to you (in the dark) and just be there (it sat on the bed and I felt the bed go down, turned on the light and nothing was there).

About two months later, I gave that house back to the bank!! My daughter still have problems to this day and I wish I would have believed her sooner (we lived in that house 8 years).


My children destroyed a life sized tree sticker that was on their bedroom wall, where can I find another?
Q. When we bought our home, the previous owners had a large life sized tree sticker or maybe wallpaper type decoration stuck on the wall and added fake leaves to it that stick out - my children tore it down, where can I find such a sticker or type of walllpaper again?

A. Hi there,
Lots of places now carry these great decals or stencils for your walls.

I think the Urban Outfitters (cool site for great room decor!)
one is super neat!
http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/catalog/productdetail.jsp;jsessionid=4FA3E2B9B697D823B3F18FF3AC8BAFA0.app12-node3?itemdescription=true&itemCount=10&id=13981998&parentid=A_FURN_WALL_DECALS&sortProperties=+product.marketingPriority,-product.startDate&navCount=56&navAction=poppushpushpush&color=00

This would be a good way to have a tree that the kids could not tear. Stenciling is actually not really difficult at all.
there are good resources online to show you how it's done.
Even if you're not an artist, it's pretty simple!


Or if you want a decal try:
http://www.vinylwallart.com/

http://www.storybooklane.com/tree.html

Just to name a couple. Google "vinyl wall art", or "tree wall decals" to get more options.

Best,
Priscilla O'Kelly Wilkinson
Sanctuary Design
Portland, Maine
207-773-2026


How do I get my 3 year old to pick up his toys?
Q. I was just wondering if any of you guys had any ideas on what could help. Every time I ask him to pick up his toys, he starts crying and says he's "dizzy". Of course, I don't believe that. Especially since he does it every single time almost. I've even sat him in his bedroom and told him that he cannot come out until it is clean. He still doesn't lift a finger. My 18 month old cleans more than him.

Thanks!!
Thanks, Jommer. Haha.

A. make it fun! if it's fun-the kids will do anything. give him a sticker if he cleans up in a timely manner. try making it into a racing game, "lets see if you can clean this up in 3, 4 or 5 mins" (adjust time depending on the magnitude of the mess)





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