Wednesday, April 17, 2013

What is the scariest experience you've ever had?

Q. Real life experiences are so much more interesting than made up ones at the movies. Tell me your stories?

A. i myself have had a frightning experiance. well quite a few times. i believe that when we die our spirits live on, until they want to come back to learn new lessons, we choose or family, and who we are, but over time we forget who we are.
spirits usually do not cause anyone fear, they usually are protecting you if you feel a presence.

But occasionally spirits are not always 'freindly' just like us humans, some are not nice people and have been horrid people whilst alive.
They can try and scare you and make you leave where you are, as they may believe its there home still etc.

I myself have thought i've seen and heard things.
My partner was asleep and so were the kids. we were living in temp housing. I was watching a film it was about 01:30am. when my sons door flew open, (i lived in a flat) and i heard him running down the hall, and then banging on my bedroom door, i shouted him, thinking he'd had a nightmare. but he was ignoring me banging loud.
So i jumped up and as soon as i stood up and walked like 2 steps to the hall it stopped, i looked out and he was not there.
And his bedroom door was shut tight.
i checked the bathroon, and felt well freaked out! i would of seen his door shutting or heard it!
then he screamed, i ran to his bedroom he was shaking, told me someone had woke him up by shaking his bed, and pulling his cover off him.
his quilt was on the other side of the room, on the chair.
I really do not know what happend that nite, but it freaked me and my son out.
luckily we moved a few weeks later.


Okay question about prairie families?
Q. Okay guys this is a serious question for me so please get me serious information.

I am researching families from the prairie time period for college...and I am studying how they all lived in one room together. All these families seem to have tons of children. Okay the question is how were they able to find ways to make more children with the older children in the same room as them?
Serious answers only please thanks!

Also if you have any good websites with information from that time period I would really appreciate it.

A. The average slave cabin was about 240 square feet (12 x 20) and most slave couples had several kids, while most free families of the era lived in houses not much larger.
Forget anything you've seen in movies like (ack hack cough) NORTH & SOUTH and other cheesy frontier and mountain movies: sex wasn't particularly romantic at that time, and people had completely different notions about the need for personal space. This isn't to say that Ma and Pa cleared the table and went at it while the kids were doing homework, but in poor families and small houses it was understood that privacy was something you found under a quilt, preferably once the kids were asleep. Consequently most kids pretty much knew the facts of life by the time they were teenagers probably, but it was also something they probably didn't talk about. (If you, like I and like a whole lot of other people I know, ever accidentally walked into your parents' bedroom when they were having sex then you'll probably know what I'm talking about when I say it's something that You all know happened but you all pretend didn't.)
Boys probably sought a lot more privacy when they m a s t urba ted (never sure what auto-bleeps)- the barn, the outhouse [horrible thought that], chicken coop, etc., anywhere there's a modicum of privacy- than their parents used having regular marital intercourse. My grandfather was from a family of 16 children, 10 of them boys, and discussed this aspect a tad, basically the line into the woodshed or in summertime the spring house (a little rock shed over a well where cheese and milk and perishables were lowered into the water and stored to keep them as cool as possible) as those were the "primo" places. As far as the non sexual things like having to get naked for baths in a room full of people he said "If you were shy about it you closed your eyes. Didn't stop them from seeing you, but at least you can't see them seeing you".
Of course that's another thing: most of us with siblings have seen them stark naked at some point, and we weren't aroused. Parents having sex in the room (in a time when that was normal) was probably a similar thing- you probably almost didn't think of it as sexual beyond perhaps a "wish they'd be quiet so I can get some sleep" thing.

A not particularly relevant aside that I'll mention anyway: if you'll walk through an old graveyard where most of the graves are of people who died before the 20th century and in an area where most people lived on farms, notice the dates of birth. You'll see lots and lots of people who were born in summer and fall, and a good many born in winter, and then a sharp decrease in the number who were born in spring. The babies born in spring would have been those who were conceived in summer, when it's very hot and you're working outside all day in a time with no running water so you don't bathe a lot, and no air conditioning so even at night the bedroom's still hot and you don't want cover over you and you're sweaty and sticky and miserable and you and your spouse have both been working hard all day and food is cooked over a fire whose heat adds to the house---romance would be about the last thing on your mind.
OTOH you'll notice a lot more kids born in summer than any other season. These are the ones whose conceptions you can track back to winter, when not only is it cold outside (and cuddling in a bed is a nice extra heat source that often leads to other things) but there wasn't as much work to do outside so you weren't as worn out and tired (still a lot of work today, mind, just not in the sun). It led itself to amorous pasttimes a lot more.

As for the outhouses in blizzards, they wouldn't have used them. They'd have probably used chamberpots during such times (and during heavy rains); if the house had a dirt floor you could dig a hole and empty it and dig it up when the weather got better. If it had a wooden floor (like my grandparents' house did) it was probably built over a raised crawlspace (actually built for breeze and as a home for dogs) and somewhere in the house would be a little hinged door where you could empty "slops" of all kinds (food, waste, etc.) if needed. Most kitchens had a silver-dollar sized hole in the floor with a funnel to pour out wash water and the like, and I'd suspect urine from chamber pots was emptied through that as well.


One last thing- I promise: in early accounts by the Spanish and English among the Indians in North America, one of the things that most alarmed them was the Indian's casual attitude toward sex of any kind. It was not at all uncommon in an Indian village to see a couple having sex against the wall of a house, or hear the noises coming from inside (a single room shared by several sisters and their husbands sometimes) or to see boys masturbating fairly openly (cleaning themselves off after of course)- weren't no thang to them. This led to early reports that Indians were sexual degenerates, which wasn't true at all- they didn't usually have many hang-ups about premarital sex like whites had, but once you were married NO ADULTERY DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT (if you slept with a man's wife not only could he kill you but honor required it) though divorce was usually available if the marriage couldn't work. (To the Creek Indians, where all newlyweds moved into the bride's mother's home, if a woman wanted to divorce her husband all she had to do was put his belongings outside of the doorway, while if a man wanted to divorce a woman all he did was go back to his own mother's [or nearest female relative's- kinship was matrilineal ] house. The man still had to provide food for the woman and any children until the wife told him he could stop [usually when she remarried], but they were through with each other. Each had to remain celibate until New Years [the fall harvest festival] to remarry, after which they were free to remarry.
Meanwhile the Indians looked upon the whites as crude savages because they didn't bathe (Indians in general were a lot cleaner), because they praised virginity and chastity but were hypocritical about it (i.e. adultery was rampant in white society) and yet the Euros didn't allow or at least stigmatized divorce. They also thought Europeans were immature about sex and didn't understand why the openness offended them. There's an account- I wish I could remember the exact source- where an Indian woman who'd just made love to her husband while a European guest was in the house found him embarrassed and furious and just raging about what he considered the barbarism, and she helpfully tried to explain that "among our people, that is how babies are made, and it feels really good, so to us it's beautiful. Please tell me because I've wondered, how do white people make babies?"


I need to redecorate?
Q. I need to redo my entire bedroom bathroom living room and my kitchen. What are some good colors. I have a light blue quilt for the master bedroom and a dark navy blue sectinal couch for the living room. What colors for the walls and the carpet??

A. I just had a heck of a time deciding on some of that stuff myself - we added on a room, but we have big doorways and you can see from the living room into the kitchen and then on into the new addition, so everything in those rooms had to coordinate - what a pain! I took a bit of fabric that I picked out to re-cover my sofa and chose colors that matched it. It's easier to find paint that matches fabric, than to find fabric that matches your paint! I went to stores like Home Depot and looked at the paint samples and held them against my fabric. The hardest part was finding a countertop that looked good with everything. The Home Depot employees were really enthusiastic about helping solve those problems, and they knew a lot about it. (The only reason I picked Home Depot is because it was the closest place.)

The addition ended up a sort of golden-orangey, just one wall in the kitchen is a sort of faded country-style red (painting the whole kitchen in that would have been overpowering) and the living room sage green. Didn't realize until later that they also match the colors in my collection of kitchen rooster items. I found ceramic bowls in the kitchen area at Target stores that matched all three of those colors and used them as decor in the dining room, to tie the colors together from the three rooms. If your rooms can't be seen from each other, it doesn't matter if they coordinate.

You'll also need to think about how you use those rooms - do they get a lot of kid traffic so that you need carpets that don't show dirt well? Do you get a lot of light in your windows? I like my rooms to be bright and cheerful, so I picked lighter, warm colors. A bedroom should have calming colors to help you sleep. Worst thing I ever did, years ago, was pick a black and white patterned comforter. It was striking looking but gave the room a cold, sterile feel.

For the bathroom - pick out a shower curtain you like and coordinate things with that.

One other little tip - the guy who did a lot of the work for us said Sherwin-Williams or Porter is the best for paint. And he builds houses for a living, so he knows.

Good luck. It can be really hard making decisions, but eventually you have to plunge in somewhere and just start.





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