Where can I get cheap things to decorate my sons room?
Q. Ok I'm moving to a new apartment and my son is going to finally get his own bedroom. He just turned 4 years old and I have no idea where to look for cheap things to decorate his room. His favorite characters are disney cars and thomas the train..me and my husband are on a budget...and we all know disney cars and thomas are not cheap. so any ideas?
A. I would avoid the actual Disney charecter stuff. Not only is it a little expensive, there is a good change he'll complain it is too babyish in two years. Plus, he already had toys with those charecters.
To save money, get stuff you could see in an 8 year old's room.
Bedding I think works for a 4 year old and an older boy:
http://www.target.com/DwellStudio-Target-Studio-Hippo-Comforter/dp/B002GQTT2Q/ref=sc_iw_r_1_0/192-0018856-5111635
http://www.target.com/Olive-Kids-Animals-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001R1M2FW/ref=br_1_34?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&searchView=grid5&searchNodeID=4182801&node=4182801&searchRank=salesrank&searchPage=2&searchSize=30&id=Olive%20Kids%20Animals%20Bedding%20Collection
http://www.target.com/DwellStudio-Target-Vehicles-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001SIM6H8/ref=br_1_104?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&searchView=grid5&searchNodeID=4182801&node=4182801&searchRank=salesrank&searchPage=4&searchSize=30&id=DwellStudio%20Target%20Vehicles%20Bedding%20Collection
http://www.target.com/Circo-Robot-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001N5WZX6/ref=br_1_88?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&searchView=grid5&searchNodeID=4182801&node=4182801&searchRank=salesrank&searchPage=3&searchSize=30&id=Circo%20Robot%20Bedding%20Collection
For wall art, posters make a big impression. I reccomend picking posters that will fit in frames the same color as the furniture. That way later on you can just change the posters.
If the furniture is dark brown in his room, you can get this frame set for $30 http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=16566594&RN=88 You could get these:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28186201
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28186176
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21827318
for $44.00
To save money, get stuff you could see in an 8 year old's room.
Bedding I think works for a 4 year old and an older boy:
http://www.target.com/DwellStudio-Target-Studio-Hippo-Comforter/dp/B002GQTT2Q/ref=sc_iw_r_1_0/192-0018856-5111635
http://www.target.com/Olive-Kids-Animals-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001R1M2FW/ref=br_1_34?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&searchView=grid5&searchNodeID=4182801&node=4182801&searchRank=salesrank&searchPage=2&searchSize=30&id=Olive%20Kids%20Animals%20Bedding%20Collection
http://www.target.com/DwellStudio-Target-Vehicles-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001SIM6H8/ref=br_1_104?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&searchView=grid5&searchNodeID=4182801&node=4182801&searchRank=salesrank&searchPage=4&searchSize=30&id=DwellStudio%20Target%20Vehicles%20Bedding%20Collection
http://www.target.com/Circo-Robot-Bedding-Collection/dp/B001N5WZX6/ref=br_1_88?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&searchView=grid5&searchNodeID=4182801&node=4182801&searchRank=salesrank&searchPage=3&searchSize=30&id=Circo%20Robot%20Bedding%20Collection
For wall art, posters make a big impression. I reccomend picking posters that will fit in frames the same color as the furniture. That way later on you can just change the posters.
If the furniture is dark brown in his room, you can get this frame set for $30 http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=16566594&RN=88 You could get these:
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28186201
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=28186176
http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=21827318
for $44.00
Why are people so against cosleeping?
Q. I understand that you shouldn't for newborns because it's simply not safe but when they are older. There has been so much research that states it's better for the child emotionally. It's wonderful to wake up in the morning and just stare at your beautiful child sleeping and as they enter toddlerhood they are really snuggly! It's beautiful! I have heard people say that you will never get them out of your bed.....I truly can't see a 16 year old still wanting to share a bed with their parents. As for sex life there are plenty of other opportunities otherwise parents who cosleep with child number 1 wouldn't have child number 2, 3 or maybe 4!
So why?
So why?
A. This was my answer in another question in the Toddler/Preschooler section but applies here as well:
I know some people won't agree here, but it's just an observation from my life and what I've noticed around me.
Kids who are constantly pushed out of their parents bed want to keep coming back the older they get. My sister snuck into my parents room nightly until she was almost 12. My dad would pitch a fit and make her leave... she was almost 12!!! I have noticed this similar behavior with friends' kids and other family members.
Yet the kids who were welcomed w/ opened arms into their parents' bed - even purposely created a family bed w/ no intentions of buying a crib from birth - they're the ones who decide on their own as toddlers/preschoolers that they're ready to have some stretching room. Or they're at least more receptive to transition to their own bed, then their own room.
The latter is what happened in my house. My daughter slept w/ us pretty much since birth. With our encouragement at 18 months, we started her in a toddler bed (pinched between our bed and the wall). At 20 months our bed started moving further and further away from her bed to the opposite end of the room. By her 2nd bday, she claimed the master bedroom and we took on the other room (worked out because she had more room to play, and we hardly have any bedroom furniture anyway). She's now 4, sleeping in her own room, only coming to our bed when she's sick or there's a thunderstorm.
I know some people won't agree here, but it's just an observation from my life and what I've noticed around me.
Kids who are constantly pushed out of their parents bed want to keep coming back the older they get. My sister snuck into my parents room nightly until she was almost 12. My dad would pitch a fit and make her leave... she was almost 12!!! I have noticed this similar behavior with friends' kids and other family members.
Yet the kids who were welcomed w/ opened arms into their parents' bed - even purposely created a family bed w/ no intentions of buying a crib from birth - they're the ones who decide on their own as toddlers/preschoolers that they're ready to have some stretching room. Or they're at least more receptive to transition to their own bed, then their own room.
The latter is what happened in my house. My daughter slept w/ us pretty much since birth. With our encouragement at 18 months, we started her in a toddler bed (pinched between our bed and the wall). At 20 months our bed started moving further and further away from her bed to the opposite end of the room. By her 2nd bday, she claimed the master bedroom and we took on the other room (worked out because she had more room to play, and we hardly have any bedroom furniture anyway). She's now 4, sleeping in her own room, only coming to our bed when she's sick or there's a thunderstorm.
Why wont my husband have sex with me?
Q. I am attractive people try to hit on me all the time men and woman. So I know its not that. If he did not love me he could leave. He tells me he loves me and he is attracted to me but our bedroom is still cold. He just rolls over night after night. Im female and we have been together 10 years.
A. It honestly breaks my heart to see these questions. Prior to meeting my wife, I have been in a relationship or two like this. I remember how alone it makes you feel. I remember how soul crushing it was to want the person next to you to just reach over and touch you and instead they roll over and go to sleep. Unfortunately, the relationships didn't make it. i don't have the answers. I will share my experiences and thoughts. Maybe they will help you.
1. Figure out what you want. Are you looking strictly for sex? Are you looking for physical affection from someone you love, not necessarily the sex? Before you can fix the problem, you have to figure out what the problem is and what you are looking for.
2. Is there a reason for his lack of desire?: When I was 22, fit, and was a muscular 180 pounds, I could go 5 times a night if that was her desire and still want more. Add a dozen years and 50 pounds, my desire has definitely gone down. What has happened with your husband over the last decade. Has he gotten fat? Changed meds? Does he have a lot of late nights at "work" where he might be cheating? Stress? Take an honest look. Has his desires just waned? Does he not love you anymore? Is he banging someone else
3. Formulate a plan for you: There is a book by Michelle Weiner-Davis called "The Sex Starved Marriage". I have to admit that I have never read the entire book, just a few chapters. You can read the first chapter here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/sb_sex_starved_marriage.htm I think this book is highly valuable for two reasons. First, it helps you realize that it is not your fault and you are not the problem. Second, it offers some options to help.
Based on your particular situation, formulate a plan. Sit down with your spouse one day. Tell them that there is a huge problem and you are not looking to find fault, but rather you want help fixing it. Don't make them feel threatened and offer them time afterward to "digest" things if they need it. Lay it on the line. Tell them what the problem is (no physical intimacy). Tell them how it makes you feel (make it good. Figure out how to tell them about the pain and the loneliness in a way they would understand). Propose a timeline of events. Say that over the next 3 months, you want to have sex 1 time per week. If that does not work, months 3 to 6 you will seek the advice of a marriage counselor and you really want them to join. If by month 6 things don't change, then you will have to prepare to go your own ways. You have to mean it and if you want life to get better, you have to be prepared to leave.
Plan out what you are going to say. think of it as an intervention. Know what you are going to say in advance.
With any luck, your spouse will agree to work on things. The website I gave you earlier also has a section on sex starved marriages. Read it to see if you can get any ideas (http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=54&page=1)
4. Prepare to dedicate time, money, and energy: If you have to go to counseling, make sure you make time to get there (without the kids if you have them). Make time for the two of you. Even if you are flat broke, get away for a weekend together. Rent an adult flick in the hotel room. Bring candles, scented oils, lingerie, alcohol.....anything to make sex desirable for both of you.
5. Communicate: It took me 15 years of relationships to realize that my SO/wife was not a mind reader. If she does something I really like or she did something that meant a lot to me, I have to tell her. If you get to the point your husband is willing to work on things,you have to communicate. What is good? What is bad? What are your fantasies?
Like I said, ultimately I had to walk (rather my SO left me for other men...a blow to the ego). Sex issues in a relationship is a terrible because one person tends to be completely happy with how things are. The book I recommended had a quote that was something like "You asked me to remain faithful and forsake all others, but you won't help me with my sexual needs". How ridiculous does that sound, but it is what you are living right now.
I hope this helps. I wish you the best!
1. Figure out what you want. Are you looking strictly for sex? Are you looking for physical affection from someone you love, not necessarily the sex? Before you can fix the problem, you have to figure out what the problem is and what you are looking for.
2. Is there a reason for his lack of desire?: When I was 22, fit, and was a muscular 180 pounds, I could go 5 times a night if that was her desire and still want more. Add a dozen years and 50 pounds, my desire has definitely gone down. What has happened with your husband over the last decade. Has he gotten fat? Changed meds? Does he have a lot of late nights at "work" where he might be cheating? Stress? Take an honest look. Has his desires just waned? Does he not love you anymore? Is he banging someone else
3. Formulate a plan for you: There is a book by Michelle Weiner-Davis called "The Sex Starved Marriage". I have to admit that I have never read the entire book, just a few chapters. You can read the first chapter here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/sb_sex_starved_marriage.htm I think this book is highly valuable for two reasons. First, it helps you realize that it is not your fault and you are not the problem. Second, it offers some options to help.
Based on your particular situation, formulate a plan. Sit down with your spouse one day. Tell them that there is a huge problem and you are not looking to find fault, but rather you want help fixing it. Don't make them feel threatened and offer them time afterward to "digest" things if they need it. Lay it on the line. Tell them what the problem is (no physical intimacy). Tell them how it makes you feel (make it good. Figure out how to tell them about the pain and the loneliness in a way they would understand). Propose a timeline of events. Say that over the next 3 months, you want to have sex 1 time per week. If that does not work, months 3 to 6 you will seek the advice of a marriage counselor and you really want them to join. If by month 6 things don't change, then you will have to prepare to go your own ways. You have to mean it and if you want life to get better, you have to be prepared to leave.
Plan out what you are going to say. think of it as an intervention. Know what you are going to say in advance.
With any luck, your spouse will agree to work on things. The website I gave you earlier also has a section on sex starved marriages. Read it to see if you can get any ideas (http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=postlist&Board=54&page=1)
4. Prepare to dedicate time, money, and energy: If you have to go to counseling, make sure you make time to get there (without the kids if you have them). Make time for the two of you. Even if you are flat broke, get away for a weekend together. Rent an adult flick in the hotel room. Bring candles, scented oils, lingerie, alcohol.....anything to make sex desirable for both of you.
5. Communicate: It took me 15 years of relationships to realize that my SO/wife was not a mind reader. If she does something I really like or she did something that meant a lot to me, I have to tell her. If you get to the point your husband is willing to work on things,you have to communicate. What is good? What is bad? What are your fantasies?
Like I said, ultimately I had to walk (rather my SO left me for other men...a blow to the ego). Sex issues in a relationship is a terrible because one person tends to be completely happy with how things are. The book I recommended had a quote that was something like "You asked me to remain faithful and forsake all others, but you won't help me with my sexual needs". How ridiculous does that sound, but it is what you are living right now.
I hope this helps. I wish you the best!
Need help on what breed of dog to buy, yes buy i'm sorry?
Q. I really shouldn't have to apologize to the people on here but some folks in this section on here are way too critical, impossible to please and way too assuming and judgmental but I won't complain. I might seem a little naive to some aspects of dog owning but perhaps that's because this will be my FIRST DOG. Anyway here is my situation, we have narrowed the breed selection down to a select few but still welcome any suggestions or advice. Please please please do not simply list your favorite breed or a dog that was perfect for you. Everyone is an individual. That's about it for my little speech. Here is my situation:
Me and my fiancee are unable to have kids, I feel it's time to add to our family and as we cannot have a child I want a companion pet. Cats are not on the list,fish are not really companion animals at all,lizards the same,guinea pigs smelly, and birds do on interest us. We want a dog and unfortunately as much as i'd love to adopt as many animals sit in shelters I wish to have a purebred dog from a reliable,safe,certified, and humane breeder. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment in Folsom, California. Our winters are very cold (35 - 51 degrees F) and our summers very hot (85 - 105 F) I do not mind a dog that is lazy, but it also works in the sense that I also love to exercise so I feel that increases our options. I run about an hour a day, and walk to the gym on the weekends. We have plenty of time to spend with our pet and it should only be alone solely on its own for one day out of the week for about three or four hours. I want a dog that will love to sit on the couch and watch T.V with us. My fiancee loves the Alaskan Klee Kai's, I am partial to loving chubby little dogs like the French Bulldog, and also love the English Bulldog. We have also considered an Australian Terrier. I want a dog that will be fairly easy to train NOT TO BARK. I know if improperly trained dogs will bark but I truly want a low barking breed. So which of the following listed is likely to be the most quiet, least barking dog. Please do not act bitter that I have narrowed and focused so much on breeds and please only consider the dogs I have listed. Feel free to offer your input and suggestions but of these which is the lowest shedding,QUIETEST, and friendliest best choice for me and Jessica.
1. Alaskan Klee Kai ( I hear they are barkers, may be a factor)
2. American Eskimo Dog (Miniature)
2. Australian Terrier
3. English Bulldog
4. French Bulldog
5. Havanese
6. Pekingnese
7. Scottish Terrier
8. Yorkshire Terrier
* NOTE the dog can be a LAZY breed. I do not need the dog to be able to walk with me but if it's a breed that requires exercise then that's perfect. My fiancee stays at home so she can play and interact with them while I am out.
Me and my fiancee are unable to have kids, I feel it's time to add to our family and as we cannot have a child I want a companion pet. Cats are not on the list,fish are not really companion animals at all,lizards the same,guinea pigs smelly, and birds do on interest us. We want a dog and unfortunately as much as i'd love to adopt as many animals sit in shelters I wish to have a purebred dog from a reliable,safe,certified, and humane breeder. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment in Folsom, California. Our winters are very cold (35 - 51 degrees F) and our summers very hot (85 - 105 F) I do not mind a dog that is lazy, but it also works in the sense that I also love to exercise so I feel that increases our options. I run about an hour a day, and walk to the gym on the weekends. We have plenty of time to spend with our pet and it should only be alone solely on its own for one day out of the week for about three or four hours. I want a dog that will love to sit on the couch and watch T.V with us. My fiancee loves the Alaskan Klee Kai's, I am partial to loving chubby little dogs like the French Bulldog, and also love the English Bulldog. We have also considered an Australian Terrier. I want a dog that will be fairly easy to train NOT TO BARK. I know if improperly trained dogs will bark but I truly want a low barking breed. So which of the following listed is likely to be the most quiet, least barking dog. Please do not act bitter that I have narrowed and focused so much on breeds and please only consider the dogs I have listed. Feel free to offer your input and suggestions but of these which is the lowest shedding,QUIETEST, and friendliest best choice for me and Jessica.
1. Alaskan Klee Kai ( I hear they are barkers, may be a factor)
2. American Eskimo Dog (Miniature)
2. Australian Terrier
3. English Bulldog
4. French Bulldog
5. Havanese
6. Pekingnese
7. Scottish Terrier
8. Yorkshire Terrier
* NOTE the dog can be a LAZY breed. I do not need the dog to be able to walk with me but if it's a breed that requires exercise then that's perfect. My fiancee stays at home so she can play and interact with them while I am out.
A. Okay let me see if I can give you some advice.
1. I never recommend Terriers as a starter dog. The reason why is they can be harder to train, they also tend to be willful and not as forgiving of error as some of the other breeds. I have often seen them take the alpha roll in the households that are not experienced dog owners. Also they are Barkers!
2. Alaskan Klee Kai - These dogs are cute I see them everywhere but they are mini alaskan huskies, alaskan huskies tend to not do well on their own, they bark a lot, and never stop moving so I would say this won't be a good fit for you.
3. Bulldogs: Both the French and English bulldogs are great companion animals very affectionate however they also require a very alpha leader in the household, so again I would not recommend as a starter breed. Also there are a lot of health issues associated with this breed, even from great breeders. Skin conditions and breathing problems are not uncommon and if you go with one these I highly suggest working with a trainer and please make sure to keep the dog fit and not allow it to get over weight as this can very much compound or start some of the health issues associated with these breeds.
4. Havanese are gentle kind smart and good all around family dogs, however they do best with calm and softspoken people as they are very sensitive. They hate when their owners fight or argue, it causes them a great deal of stress. So if you guys are calm people this could work out very well.
5. Pekingese can become very easily spoiled and you really need to establish your boundaries with them otherwise they will start walking all over you. They can also be very hard to housebreak so I would not recommend these as a starter breed.
6. American Eskimo: I just recommend you don't get one of these dogs, they can be aggressive if not trained properly, they are not easy to train and also can be standoffish. I have worked with 6 of them now who were surrendered over rescue none of them were easy to re-train, or easy to find a home for. I have met many, they are very common in my state, only two that I know are happy healthy dogs with no to little issues.
These are the two breeds I would suggest for you.
Bichon Frise: Downsize their coat can be a night mare to deal with! Don't let these little guys fool you, they are great activity partners, they are not yappers and tend to be affectionate with everyone. They have very kind souls and love their people to death. I use to own and he went back packing, camping and swimming with me. We hiked 3 miles a day. He never wore out. They are easy to train, and tend to be pretty settled and calm in the home. I highly recommend this breed to you it seems to suit all of your description of what you are looking for.
Miniature Australian Shepard: Okay down side you need to stimulate them mentally and physically otherwise they can become destructive if left too long alone. Upside is these guys are lively fun and easy to train and work with. They act like a big dog and are just stunning to look at. They tend to not be barkers, but if you are looking for a dog to workout with you, this will be no problem also you can take up frisbee or agilty with them and they excel at both. They are great little dogs, and also tend to be calm in the house as long as they have had their walk. They can have some issues if not trained properly so I would recommend reading about training them before getting one. However they also need a job, this could be a simply as teaching them to play frisbee. They are a very fun first dog to have around. I would highly recommend them over the Alaskan Klee Kai or the American Eskimo. I personally know many of these little guys and have never come across one I didn't like.
Okay this is my advise to you I have worked in Rescue for 5 years been a dog owner since I was 7. I own an Akita and three working border collies all trained by myself. I am an evaluator for new dogs coming into rescue and I am the aggressive dog trainer for the rescue I work with. Previous to this I spent a lot of time matching up our dogs with the right families. So I know a little about this stuff ;). Good luck with your new addition! Wish you all the best.
1. I never recommend Terriers as a starter dog. The reason why is they can be harder to train, they also tend to be willful and not as forgiving of error as some of the other breeds. I have often seen them take the alpha roll in the households that are not experienced dog owners. Also they are Barkers!
2. Alaskan Klee Kai - These dogs are cute I see them everywhere but they are mini alaskan huskies, alaskan huskies tend to not do well on their own, they bark a lot, and never stop moving so I would say this won't be a good fit for you.
3. Bulldogs: Both the French and English bulldogs are great companion animals very affectionate however they also require a very alpha leader in the household, so again I would not recommend as a starter breed. Also there are a lot of health issues associated with this breed, even from great breeders. Skin conditions and breathing problems are not uncommon and if you go with one these I highly suggest working with a trainer and please make sure to keep the dog fit and not allow it to get over weight as this can very much compound or start some of the health issues associated with these breeds.
4. Havanese are gentle kind smart and good all around family dogs, however they do best with calm and softspoken people as they are very sensitive. They hate when their owners fight or argue, it causes them a great deal of stress. So if you guys are calm people this could work out very well.
5. Pekingese can become very easily spoiled and you really need to establish your boundaries with them otherwise they will start walking all over you. They can also be very hard to housebreak so I would not recommend these as a starter breed.
6. American Eskimo: I just recommend you don't get one of these dogs, they can be aggressive if not trained properly, they are not easy to train and also can be standoffish. I have worked with 6 of them now who were surrendered over rescue none of them were easy to re-train, or easy to find a home for. I have met many, they are very common in my state, only two that I know are happy healthy dogs with no to little issues.
These are the two breeds I would suggest for you.
Bichon Frise: Downsize their coat can be a night mare to deal with! Don't let these little guys fool you, they are great activity partners, they are not yappers and tend to be affectionate with everyone. They have very kind souls and love their people to death. I use to own and he went back packing, camping and swimming with me. We hiked 3 miles a day. He never wore out. They are easy to train, and tend to be pretty settled and calm in the home. I highly recommend this breed to you it seems to suit all of your description of what you are looking for.
Miniature Australian Shepard: Okay down side you need to stimulate them mentally and physically otherwise they can become destructive if left too long alone. Upside is these guys are lively fun and easy to train and work with. They act like a big dog and are just stunning to look at. They tend to not be barkers, but if you are looking for a dog to workout with you, this will be no problem also you can take up frisbee or agilty with them and they excel at both. They are great little dogs, and also tend to be calm in the house as long as they have had their walk. They can have some issues if not trained properly so I would recommend reading about training them before getting one. However they also need a job, this could be a simply as teaching them to play frisbee. They are a very fun first dog to have around. I would highly recommend them over the Alaskan Klee Kai or the American Eskimo. I personally know many of these little guys and have never come across one I didn't like.
Okay this is my advise to you I have worked in Rescue for 5 years been a dog owner since I was 7. I own an Akita and three working border collies all trained by myself. I am an evaluator for new dogs coming into rescue and I am the aggressive dog trainer for the rescue I work with. Previous to this I spent a lot of time matching up our dogs with the right families. So I know a little about this stuff ;). Good luck with your new addition! Wish you all the best.
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