What is the first step to getting custody of my children?
Q. I have 2 boys, 7 and about to be 5 and me and their mother split up a year ago. She isnt very maternal and doesnt provide for them the best life she could (i.e. Drugs, 2 bedroom apt. with her mother, etc). She hasnt filed for child support yet but is threating to do so very soon. What is my first step on getting my kids and resolving this matter?
A. I�m a Father�s Rights Advocate for 20 years.
Many think the courts are rigged against dads, but in reality, it is more about attorneys unwilling or lacking the knowledge to truly fight for the father's rights. This is why it is important to learn how to interview and hire the right attorney. It is also important to do as much as possible on your own and not pay the attorney to do it.
Start keeping a daily journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation, usually sexual. Over 60% of divorcing father are accused of child sexual abuse, of which only 4% are found to have any relevance, but there are no penalties for doing so. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.
Gather evidence. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You�re that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state,
Now, you can't just record, you also have to transcribe it into the daily journal.
If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. There's an educational manual in the file section that can teach you what you need to know. The organization it came from is defunct due to attorneys that tried to take it over and make money from it.
Take the time to learn what you can and should do.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GiveKidsAChoice/
http://www.rcfp.org/taping/
http://www.glennsacks.com
http://www.parentalalienation.org/
Many think the courts are rigged against dads, but in reality, it is more about attorneys unwilling or lacking the knowledge to truly fight for the father's rights. This is why it is important to learn how to interview and hire the right attorney. It is also important to do as much as possible on your own and not pay the attorney to do it.
Start keeping a daily journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation, usually sexual. Over 60% of divorcing father are accused of child sexual abuse, of which only 4% are found to have any relevance, but there are no penalties for doing so. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.
Gather evidence. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You�re that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state,
Now, you can't just record, you also have to transcribe it into the daily journal.
If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. There's an educational manual in the file section that can teach you what you need to know. The organization it came from is defunct due to attorneys that tried to take it over and make money from it.
Take the time to learn what you can and should do.
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GiveKidsAChoice/
http://www.rcfp.org/taping/
http://www.glennsacks.com
http://www.parentalalienation.org/
What do you think about FEED THE CHILDREN?
Q. I turn on my t.v. in my bedroom when I wake up instead of the light. Anyway, FEED THE CHILDREN, was on wanting money for the kids in Africa. My BIG gripe is, none of these organizations talk about donating money for sex education, or somehow stopping these people from breeding, whether it's ignorance or something else, why isn't something done about them producing all these unwanted, homeless, starving children?
A. Like 98% of the organizations that WANT YOUR MONEY... only about $0.03 go to the actual aid and relief. The rest is all administration. With that said, one can only guess the millions of $$$ that go into the pockets of the organisers.
It's true, CRS (Catholic Relief Services) will have nothing to do with teaching people how to quit bringing more mouthes into the world. I'll say their name... what will they do? Sue me?
UNICEF, WFP, CRS... they're all the same and they eat at the same trough.
I spent two years making a hefty sum of bank working sub-contract for these organizations. I walked away with a nice bank account, but with a guilty concious.
It's true, CRS (Catholic Relief Services) will have nothing to do with teaching people how to quit bringing more mouthes into the world. I'll say their name... what will they do? Sue me?
UNICEF, WFP, CRS... they're all the same and they eat at the same trough.
I spent two years making a hefty sum of bank working sub-contract for these organizations. I walked away with a nice bank account, but with a guilty concious.
What is the best way to stay organized in a small space with 3 kids ages 3,2,and 1?
Q. They all have different personalities and all make messes. I feel like all I do is clean and it gets trashed five minutes later. Im a stay at home mom and my husband thinks I stick to schedules too much and I am always cleaning but it doesnt seem to help. Any ideas how to keep everything tidy.
A. Three under three is certainly going to put you in the position of cleaning all the time. While organization is a good goal, applying it will be very different at home than in an office -- or a home without children.
Keeping everything tidy is not a reasonable goal and you'd do well not to put that kind of pressure on yourself. With three toddlers, you'll maintain more of your sanity if your goal is to keep up with them.
I had three under three. Now I have three in college. The "mess" doesn't go away, it just changes shape.
Keeping a schedule (this happens at this time, that happens at that time) can be daunting with three little ones. A routine (this happens after this -- regardless of the time -- and then we do that) might be more accomodating for everyone, especially you.
Mornings can start when everyone wakes, not necessarily at 8AM. We eat, we clean up, we watch a program, we play outside, we snack, we play outside some more, we eat luch. This doesn't have to happen by the clock to go smoothly and successfully.
Do remember, "Stay at home Mom" doesn't mean you have to stay at home. Check into your local resources for playgroups and parks. Network with other moms about scheduling playgroups and exchanging babysitting.
Children cannot mess up what they can't reach, see, or know is there.
Keep breakables and other valuables up and away. If necessary, put them out of sight completely. While it may seem like you'll never see your things again, the reality is that the days are long and the years are short. This means you'll be bringing your things down and back into view before you know it.
Safety devices work in theory. In practice, small children are geniuses. Block outlets, unused radiators and cords with furniture. All lower kitchen cabinets should be child proofed with one exception. Here you would keep plastics the children can play with. Cooking around kids is dangerous. Cook in advance (when they're sleeping) and reheat later; tell your husband to keep the kids occupied; create meals out of raw fruit, raw vegetables and sandwiches. Puddings are great -- and much fun in the tub (see below).
Keep a minimum of toys available. A child with too many choices (more than 5 toys) can be become an overwhelmed child. A child with a toy that contains more than 5 pieces can also become overwhelmed. Simple blocks go a lot further than a box of action figures.
My rule of thumb was that if a toy couldn't go in the dishwasher or clothes washer, it wasn't a toy for my kids. This helped immensely on many levels, the least of which was cleanup.
If your kids have more than 5 toys each, stick the rest in storage. When you bring out all those "new" toys, put the other toys in storage. Change them out about every three months.
Messes will be made no matter what. To consolidate messes, never dismiss the wonders of the bathroom.
If you have a hand-held shower nozzle, explore the possibilities. During the colder months and during rainy days, I fed my baby during the day by putting her in her high chair and the high chair in the bathroom while the two older enjoyed their lunch on the tray that fit between the sides of the empty tub. When my baby was done eating I washed the older two and let them dress themselves. I then put the baby (still in the high chair) in the tub and washed her up along with the high chair. I'd take her out and let the high chair dry.
On warm days I used an empty inflatable kids' pool instead of the tub. After eating, I'd fill the pool with water and bath bubble mixture. If you have a sprayer on the end of the hose, you can get some rockin' bubble mountains going.
The beauty of inflatable pools and pool toys is that they can go inside in a bedroom (without water, of course). The inflatable toys that have slides and palm trees are great, but if all you can afford is a moderately sized inflatable pool, this can double as a napping place (with pillows, blankets, stuffed animals) and as a place to play or look at books. Very small pools can hold books or toys and make it easier for small children to learn organizational skills (books go in the pink pool and toys go in the blue pool).
The important thing is your peace of mind. Three small children are exhausting no matter what you do. Don't put extra (and unnecessary) pressure on yourself to do more, more, more. Keep it simple. The simpler things are for all of you, the more fondly you'll remember them at the end of the day, the more accomplished you'll feel, and trust me -- they'll remember the time you spent with them, not how tidy everything was.
Keeping everything tidy is not a reasonable goal and you'd do well not to put that kind of pressure on yourself. With three toddlers, you'll maintain more of your sanity if your goal is to keep up with them.
I had three under three. Now I have three in college. The "mess" doesn't go away, it just changes shape.
Keeping a schedule (this happens at this time, that happens at that time) can be daunting with three little ones. A routine (this happens after this -- regardless of the time -- and then we do that) might be more accomodating for everyone, especially you.
Mornings can start when everyone wakes, not necessarily at 8AM. We eat, we clean up, we watch a program, we play outside, we snack, we play outside some more, we eat luch. This doesn't have to happen by the clock to go smoothly and successfully.
Do remember, "Stay at home Mom" doesn't mean you have to stay at home. Check into your local resources for playgroups and parks. Network with other moms about scheduling playgroups and exchanging babysitting.
Children cannot mess up what they can't reach, see, or know is there.
Keep breakables and other valuables up and away. If necessary, put them out of sight completely. While it may seem like you'll never see your things again, the reality is that the days are long and the years are short. This means you'll be bringing your things down and back into view before you know it.
Safety devices work in theory. In practice, small children are geniuses. Block outlets, unused radiators and cords with furniture. All lower kitchen cabinets should be child proofed with one exception. Here you would keep plastics the children can play with. Cooking around kids is dangerous. Cook in advance (when they're sleeping) and reheat later; tell your husband to keep the kids occupied; create meals out of raw fruit, raw vegetables and sandwiches. Puddings are great -- and much fun in the tub (see below).
Keep a minimum of toys available. A child with too many choices (more than 5 toys) can be become an overwhelmed child. A child with a toy that contains more than 5 pieces can also become overwhelmed. Simple blocks go a lot further than a box of action figures.
My rule of thumb was that if a toy couldn't go in the dishwasher or clothes washer, it wasn't a toy for my kids. This helped immensely on many levels, the least of which was cleanup.
If your kids have more than 5 toys each, stick the rest in storage. When you bring out all those "new" toys, put the other toys in storage. Change them out about every three months.
Messes will be made no matter what. To consolidate messes, never dismiss the wonders of the bathroom.
If you have a hand-held shower nozzle, explore the possibilities. During the colder months and during rainy days, I fed my baby during the day by putting her in her high chair and the high chair in the bathroom while the two older enjoyed their lunch on the tray that fit between the sides of the empty tub. When my baby was done eating I washed the older two and let them dress themselves. I then put the baby (still in the high chair) in the tub and washed her up along with the high chair. I'd take her out and let the high chair dry.
On warm days I used an empty inflatable kids' pool instead of the tub. After eating, I'd fill the pool with water and bath bubble mixture. If you have a sprayer on the end of the hose, you can get some rockin' bubble mountains going.
The beauty of inflatable pools and pool toys is that they can go inside in a bedroom (without water, of course). The inflatable toys that have slides and palm trees are great, but if all you can afford is a moderately sized inflatable pool, this can double as a napping place (with pillows, blankets, stuffed animals) and as a place to play or look at books. Very small pools can hold books or toys and make it easier for small children to learn organizational skills (books go in the pink pool and toys go in the blue pool).
The important thing is your peace of mind. Three small children are exhausting no matter what you do. Don't put extra (and unnecessary) pressure on yourself to do more, more, more. Keep it simple. The simpler things are for all of you, the more fondly you'll remember them at the end of the day, the more accomplished you'll feel, and trust me -- they'll remember the time you spent with them, not how tidy everything was.
Ways to organize a small home?
Q. I have a rather small house and no closet space (just a little one in each bedroom.) I am really running out of places to put things and I hate having to throw stuff in my bedroom before company comes. Since I have two kids downsizing isn't really an option. I can't stand a bunch of clutter, but organization just doesn't come naturally to me. I would love any ideas!
A. Take a look at www.flylady.net. It is a free service that helps you declutter and organize your house. It has worked wonders for me. Even though you say organization doesn't come natural to you, you would be surprised at how organized and clean your house will be with this program. Try it. It is free so you have nothing to lose...except clutter. This program helps you keep your house so it is just 15 minutes away from company. I can say my house is 15 minutes away from company thanks to flylady. By the way I have 3 kids and have only been in the program for 2 months.
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Title Post: What is the first step to getting custody of my children?
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Rating: 97% based on 9598 ratings. 4,8 user reviews.
Author: Unknown
Thanks For Coming To My Blog
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