How do you do it? Juggling cleaning, cooking, laundry, and still have time for yourself?
Q. I'm a newlywed, still in college, no kids yet, and I feel overwhelmed. I like to have time with my husband, to relax and yes, have sex but our apartment is suffering. Our dishwasher is backed up, I can't figure out our iron, and worse we're suffering an infestation of ants! I feel like a crap housewife. How do I get back on track so the house is clean and my husband is happy? I know he'd prefer not to have this happen again but I think he'd like that without taking sex out of the equation. I'd like that too.
A. I just wrote this reply to a gla who wanted to know how to keep her room clean but it applies here.
Deadicating time to focus on cleaning, cooking etc. is the key perhaps for an apartment you can start with 20 minutes a day. Husband - can he work with you? He can figure out the iron and deal with the ants. By the way any liquid soap kills them and I leave a stream of it across their trails. If you know where they are coming from you can spread a layer of baby powder around the entrance - they will not cross and no chemicals!
I think what you are looking for is discipline, to clean and maintain your room.
This method works for me in my five bedroom, five bath house.
1. Daily maintenance and pick up and bed making. Set timer for 15 minutes every day.
Starting with the floor, up pick up items and put them where they belong, hang up clothes or put in laundry basket (have one in your closet). Toss out papers, wrappers and other trash in waste paper basket (have one in room). Have a tray, box, hamper or I use a snow disk at the entrance of the door way with my timer on it for all the things that have to be taken out of the room like cups, books etc..
Keep working until the timer rings don't stop to think about items, if you have stuff you are pondering keeping, tossing or giving away put it in a corner for now and deal with it later.
Your 15 minutes is speed cleaning, pick up.
When the timer rings you are done, leave the room, take out your trash, return any times to other rooms.
Do your 15 minutes daily and that might be all you need to keep your room picked up and clean.
Lets say Monday you got your floor picked up but your closet is a mess - set your timer for cleaning the closet. The floor may take your 15 minutes that day, putting your clothes in color and type order my be Tuesday or Wednesday. Another day your 15 minutes might be cleaning your bedside table and a drawer or under the bed. Rotate round the room cleaning the surfaces.
This regularly scheduled roteen pick up for general cleaning and daily putting things up and away would make your room always "company ready".. Yahoo. Let's do on to part 2.
2. At the end of a week your room should be transformed with items picked up so now you have 15 minutes to pick up an already straighten room. Now is the time for deeper cleaning.
Monday: 15 minutes: Working with parent? Strip bed - wash sheets, pillow cases, do your laundry, fold and return. Tuesday: 15 minutes: Soft Scrub cleaning eraser (for plastic and painted surfaces only) on light switches, parts of doors that get grungy from fingerprints, clean window ledge, dust surfaces and window ledge. Wednesday: Vacuum your room including the nosel attachment for corners and don't forget closet. Thursday: Purge closet of stuff/clothing you no longer use to give away or toss or re purpose. Friday: Are we clean yet? How about cleaning out back pack or purse? Saturday: is the floor getting messy - clean it up.
Sunday: Take the day off - you did a great job! Can't be faithful with 15 minutes? Start with ten and work as fast as you can.
I guarantee once you get this plan in place you can apply this to your own home in the future with no problems.
Deadicating time to focus on cleaning, cooking etc. is the key perhaps for an apartment you can start with 20 minutes a day. Husband - can he work with you? He can figure out the iron and deal with the ants. By the way any liquid soap kills them and I leave a stream of it across their trails. If you know where they are coming from you can spread a layer of baby powder around the entrance - they will not cross and no chemicals!
I think what you are looking for is discipline, to clean and maintain your room.
This method works for me in my five bedroom, five bath house.
1. Daily maintenance and pick up and bed making. Set timer for 15 minutes every day.
Starting with the floor, up pick up items and put them where they belong, hang up clothes or put in laundry basket (have one in your closet). Toss out papers, wrappers and other trash in waste paper basket (have one in room). Have a tray, box, hamper or I use a snow disk at the entrance of the door way with my timer on it for all the things that have to be taken out of the room like cups, books etc..
Keep working until the timer rings don't stop to think about items, if you have stuff you are pondering keeping, tossing or giving away put it in a corner for now and deal with it later.
Your 15 minutes is speed cleaning, pick up.
When the timer rings you are done, leave the room, take out your trash, return any times to other rooms.
Do your 15 minutes daily and that might be all you need to keep your room picked up and clean.
Lets say Monday you got your floor picked up but your closet is a mess - set your timer for cleaning the closet. The floor may take your 15 minutes that day, putting your clothes in color and type order my be Tuesday or Wednesday. Another day your 15 minutes might be cleaning your bedside table and a drawer or under the bed. Rotate round the room cleaning the surfaces.
This regularly scheduled roteen pick up for general cleaning and daily putting things up and away would make your room always "company ready".. Yahoo. Let's do on to part 2.
2. At the end of a week your room should be transformed with items picked up so now you have 15 minutes to pick up an already straighten room. Now is the time for deeper cleaning.
Monday: 15 minutes: Working with parent? Strip bed - wash sheets, pillow cases, do your laundry, fold and return. Tuesday: 15 minutes: Soft Scrub cleaning eraser (for plastic and painted surfaces only) on light switches, parts of doors that get grungy from fingerprints, clean window ledge, dust surfaces and window ledge. Wednesday: Vacuum your room including the nosel attachment for corners and don't forget closet. Thursday: Purge closet of stuff/clothing you no longer use to give away or toss or re purpose. Friday: Are we clean yet? How about cleaning out back pack or purse? Saturday: is the floor getting messy - clean it up.
Sunday: Take the day off - you did a great job! Can't be faithful with 15 minutes? Start with ten and work as fast as you can.
I guarantee once you get this plan in place you can apply this to your own home in the future with no problems.
What words do you use to tell your kids their parents are divorcing?
Q. Marriage is irreparable..divorce is imminent..Dad has a girlfriend of many years. What are the things you say to your kids when telling them about the breakup? Anyone have experience to share?
A. Domi, this is a very painful, difficult and delicate situation for any parent to have to face. As I�ve never been a parent, myself, I can only really address this unhappy situation from the perspective of the children. Yes, my parents divorced when I was only 10 years old. While the circumstances leading up to their divorce weren�t the same as that which you describe, the end result for all parties concerned is essentially the same. This won�t be easy for anyone involved, but my heart really goes out to the kids and their Mom.
Despite the obvious and understandable temptation to do so, I would first advise against criticizing or attacking the father in front of the children. It is only likely to have a backlash effect and will accomplish nothing positive with regard to helping the kids adapt to their new domestic reality. Cheating bastard or not, he�s still their father and they must retain some form of relationship with him during their younger years. Once they reach adulthood, however, all bets are off, and they are entitled to decide for themselves whether or not they wish to allow him in their lives.
In that spirit, then, I would advise a constructive dialogue between mother and children in which everything is explained as much as possible and the kids are permitted to raise any questions or concerns they may have about the imminent change. Kids are so often ignored by adults but this is one time when their voices absolutely must be heard. That said, the adults are the ones making the decisions here, and the children will have to understand and accept that.
So, first things first, I agree with Aline that both parents need to express their absolute and unconditional love and devotion to the kids, without question. Please be mindful of this. Whether the kids seem outwardly unaffected or not, they will be feeling this very deeply. They may not express this at all or they may very well act out in unexpected and uncharacteristic ways. Every child, like every adult, is different, and each will be affected in his or her own way. Be there for them as much as possible, even though you�re hurting inside and dealing with your own feelings and emotions. Don�t make the mistake of overlooking how this is impacting on them. And don�t assume they�ll come and tell you, either. This is a process and the children�s ages will determine much of their reaction, as well as their ability to adjust to the changes that are coming.
Again, Aline�s advice is very sound. Reassure them not only that you (yes, and their father) love them, as always, and that their lives will change as little as possible. Same house. Same bedrooms. Same school. Same friends. And yes, same Mommy and Daddy, just living apart. Acceptance is really the first hurdle for everyone involved, and the less things change, the sooner that acceptance will come. Avoid any unnecessary alterations to just about anything. Keep things as normal and routine as possible. Make sure to be there for them and to listen to them.
You must also be sure to take care of yourself and your needs. Losing yourself completely in your children won�t help you or them, either, in the long run. Try to spend as much time on yourself as you do on them. I�m serious. This isn�t selfish; it�s necessary. For them to feel happy and well adjusted, they need to see their Mommy happy and well adjusted. I know this is hard but please try to remain as upbeat and positive around them as possible. Be strong. Be positive. This too shall pass. And those wonderful kids of yours will follow your lead. That�s what my Mom did, and that�s what we did, too. I wish you and your kids the best of everything. Godspeed!
Despite the obvious and understandable temptation to do so, I would first advise against criticizing or attacking the father in front of the children. It is only likely to have a backlash effect and will accomplish nothing positive with regard to helping the kids adapt to their new domestic reality. Cheating bastard or not, he�s still their father and they must retain some form of relationship with him during their younger years. Once they reach adulthood, however, all bets are off, and they are entitled to decide for themselves whether or not they wish to allow him in their lives.
In that spirit, then, I would advise a constructive dialogue between mother and children in which everything is explained as much as possible and the kids are permitted to raise any questions or concerns they may have about the imminent change. Kids are so often ignored by adults but this is one time when their voices absolutely must be heard. That said, the adults are the ones making the decisions here, and the children will have to understand and accept that.
So, first things first, I agree with Aline that both parents need to express their absolute and unconditional love and devotion to the kids, without question. Please be mindful of this. Whether the kids seem outwardly unaffected or not, they will be feeling this very deeply. They may not express this at all or they may very well act out in unexpected and uncharacteristic ways. Every child, like every adult, is different, and each will be affected in his or her own way. Be there for them as much as possible, even though you�re hurting inside and dealing with your own feelings and emotions. Don�t make the mistake of overlooking how this is impacting on them. And don�t assume they�ll come and tell you, either. This is a process and the children�s ages will determine much of their reaction, as well as their ability to adjust to the changes that are coming.
Again, Aline�s advice is very sound. Reassure them not only that you (yes, and their father) love them, as always, and that their lives will change as little as possible. Same house. Same bedrooms. Same school. Same friends. And yes, same Mommy and Daddy, just living apart. Acceptance is really the first hurdle for everyone involved, and the less things change, the sooner that acceptance will come. Avoid any unnecessary alterations to just about anything. Keep things as normal and routine as possible. Make sure to be there for them and to listen to them.
You must also be sure to take care of yourself and your needs. Losing yourself completely in your children won�t help you or them, either, in the long run. Try to spend as much time on yourself as you do on them. I�m serious. This isn�t selfish; it�s necessary. For them to feel happy and well adjusted, they need to see their Mommy happy and well adjusted. I know this is hard but please try to remain as upbeat and positive around them as possible. Be strong. Be positive. This too shall pass. And those wonderful kids of yours will follow your lead. That�s what my Mom did, and that�s what we did, too. I wish you and your kids the best of everything. Godspeed!
When raising young kids, when do you let it go or confront an issue?
Q. I have two kids, a boy and girl that are ages 6 and 8. I'm not sure when to discipline them or ignore them. I tend to do more disciplining/ training than ignoring, but I wanted to find out what other parents do. When do you just leave it alone?
A. Ask yourself, "is this going to matter in 10 years?" or "what do I want my kids to remember when they are grown?" Do you want them to remember mom harping on cleaning all the time or do you want them to remember mom participating in having fun with them? Messy bedrooms? That's why they have doors, shut them. Kids do things in their own time and while their bedroom might be too messy for us, it takes awhile before it becomes too messy for them, but it does and eventually they'll surprise you.
When it comes to what they wear, look back at some of your old photos, then tell me that YOU would dress like that today. Every generation has their "special look" as long as what they wear complies with school policy don't fuss. Afterall what good does standing at your front door arguing over clothing when the bus drives past your house without your kid? Pick your battles.
When it comes to what they wear, look back at some of your old photos, then tell me that YOU would dress like that today. Every generation has their "special look" as long as what they wear complies with school policy don't fuss. Afterall what good does standing at your front door arguing over clothing when the bus drives past your house without your kid? Pick your battles.
Quitting and trying to get rid of smoke smell, but I can't smell it?
Q. Before you tell me to quit smoking, well I am. However, I just stopped smoking about a week ago. I only smoked in my bedroom, and usually a good cleaning got rid of the smell for me. The problem is that probably due to my smoking, I can't really tell if it stinks or not. I know non-smokers can telll as soon as they walk in but I have no one to ask at the moment and I want to make sure it doesn't smell before my parents come to visit this weekend. I have 3 electrical air freshners that have been on for 2 days, cleaned and vaccumed with at least 3 different products but I think I might smell it because I'm on the patch and I feel sick after being in my room for too long. How to tell?
A. Make sure you wash all your bedding plus pillows. Also wash your curtains and you may have to wash down your walls and bedroom furniture and tv and nearly everything in your bedroom. Sorry but that`s what I had to do + the carpeting shampooed. Its a job but if you want to delete the cig smell this is what you have to do. Don`t kid yourself its traveled through your other part of the house too including your closet. I quit nearly 1 year ago and really had a cleaning job on my hands. Good Luck to you and congrats! on quitting...Keep your windows open and if you have a room purifier run that too it helps and febreeze is good!!!!
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Title Post: How do you do it? Juggling cleaning, cooking, laundry, and still have time for yourself?
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